Stuff New Moms Need

There are plenty of new moms in my family.  They are all are excited about the babies, most of them are new moms and one has multiple children.  One’s life changes as soon as the baby is home.   I would think the hardest thing about being a new mom is getting enough sleep, which can negatively impact other activities.  I decided to come up with a list of things that I believe a new mom needs to help her adjust to her new bundle of joy.


So every new mom needs:

1. Chef – A new mom is tired, which means she does not need to be operating anything with fire or heat.   Having a chef may be a luxury, BUT family members and friends should make sure the new family is eating sensible meals everyday (well, at least, the first 4 weeks after delivery.)

2. Housekeeper – A healing mother should not be vacuuming or doing dishes the first month after delivery.

3. Babysitter – Now, some moms do not like to leave their child(ren) with other people.  (I suggest that they read Find The Time.)  First time moms should begin scouting out prospective babysitters while pregnant.  (This is important if new mom live in a place where she has little to no family members.)  New parents will need to find someone they respect and trust to take care of their child(ren).  I also suggest not burning bridges with people who would be great sitters.  Start with leaving the child with the sitter for a couple of hours and phase in more hours as he or she gets older.  For example, if the anniversary weekend is coming up and want to leave the child with grandma (do not let that be the first time he or she is away from for a long period of time.)

4. Date Night –  Date night is very important to rekindle the sparks in your relationship.  (Main reason why #3 is very important.)   I know people who do not spend much time without their child(ren).  That is a bad sign in a relationship.  Will the relationship last when the child(ren) leave to go to school?  Preservation of the relationship should be on-going and deliberate.

5. Pampering – (No connection to Pampers Diapers) A new mom must be reminded that it is ok for her to pamper herself or to be pampered.  Take her to her favorite cosmetic counter or to a spa.  She is stressed out (but may not want to say), so nudge her (kindly and gently) to take some time for herself.  A happy mom means a happy baby and, ultimately, a happy household.

So check on your new moms TODAY!!!!

Mix Maven

I Love Maroon 5

Maroon 5\'s \

I love me some Maroon 5.  Last summer I was rocking this album on a, seemingly, endless loop, so I was excited to hear about the release of the  Deluxe CD/DVD of “It Won’t Soon Before Long”  I loved this album because of the 80s elements, sexy lyrics and soft ballads.

I love the idea of Maroon 5 and Rihanna partnering in the song, “If I Never See Your Face Again”.  I did not even realize that Maroon 5 did a remix (kinda) with Rihanna. (Sidebar: I have been super, duper busy lately, rendering me unconscious to popular cultural happenings.)  I will say that Rihanna does not sound half-bad and her style and makeup (FLAWLESS!!!)   Adam Levine is definitely a looker, which adds to the mystique of the band.   Dangit, I am still PO’ed I missed them in concert last year.  And the upcoming tour date to my area is not even convenient.  Damn you, somebody! LOL No one to really blame.

I will be picking up the Deluxe CD coming out July 8, 2008.

Maroon 5 (and Rihanna) “If I Never See Your Face Again”

Keep Cool,

Mix Maven

Have Fun With A Condom

I know some people out there do not like condoms. I was on the Pill for the longest and my libido was lower than I liked. When I stopped using the Pill, and started using condoms on a regular basis, I was back to the Sexual Carob that I know and love.  Mr. Carob & I do not believe in the “condom-breaking” scenario that some cry about. If you know how to put a condom on, the likelihood of breaking or bursting is minimal.
Here are some fun tips from Cosmo:

How To Make Condoms More Fun

No need to bust out silly party tricks! Thanks to Cosmo’s genius tips, wearing protection will be so pleasurable, your man won’t ever bitch and moan about it again.

Check out Cosmo's genius condom tips! Wearing protection will be so pleasurable...Making condoms sound playful is easy (love glove, woody hoodie, peter parka…). But coming up with cutesy names isn’t enough to get a guy to like wearing one, despite the fact that they ward off unwanted pregnancies and STDs. Lucky for you, Cosmo has found ways to maximize pleasure while using protection. “It’s as simple as choosing the right rubber, making him feel at ease, and keeping the intensity high throughout the act,” says sexologist Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD, author of Sex With Your Ex. When you do all three, “he won’t have the usual anxiety about losing his erection or not being able to climax.” What’s more, you’ll be able to milk more sensations out of safe sex too. We’re sharing it all right here.

Shopping Tips

Most people spend all of seven seconds choosing a condom, according to data from Trojan. But a last-minute dash to the drugstore can mean less satisfaction in the sack. Below, we explain how to pick a winner.

Size matters. The right fit completely changes how a guy experiences sex with a condom. One that’s too tight reduces sensation, takes longer to get on (which can deflate his erection), and is more likely to break. Quick sizing test: If you can’t roll the raincoat all the way down to the base of his penis, it’s not large enough. That said, an oversize one can slip off, and the extra material can make your dude feel inadequate.

Though the standard size of condoms is about 7 inches long, the length can vary up to an inch and girth sizes also range, so experiment with brands and styles (sites like list size categories).

Try a condom designed with a swirl or bulb at the end of it — it’ll say so on the box, usually with a word like twist or pleasure or spiral. These models fit securely around the base of his shaft while creating more friction near the nerve-packed head of his penis.

Consider a polyurethane prophylactic. Unlike latex, they transmit body heat, making intercourse feel more sensual. If you and your guy are committed and STD-free, try a lambskin condom. These also transmit heat, and many men swear this type feels more like skin on skin. But they only protect against pregnancy, since the natural, porous material can allow the transmission of STDs.

Let’s Get It On

Rolling one on doesn’t have to ruin the mood.

The faster you can slip on a safety sheath, the less likely he is to go limp. Minimize fumbling by opening the wrapper during foreplay. Pull the condom out, and place two drops of lube inside. This increases sensation at the supersensitive head of his penis. Place the opening over the top of his shaft. Hold it there with one hand, lightly squeeze the tip of the condom, and use the other hand to unravel it all the way down to the base of his member.

For a treat, use your mouth. Dab your lips with lube, then lightly suck the (nonspermicidal!) disc into your mouth with the nipple end inward. (Grossed out? Try a flavored love glove.) Carefully wrap your lips over your teeth and put your mouth at the head of his member. Push your lips against the ring of the condom, slide it down his shaft, and unroll the rest with your hand. Ta-da!

Pleasure-Maxing Moves

A condom needn’t come between you, him, and a climax.

Squeeze your legs together in missionary or doggie-style to create extra pressure.

Make a V with your pointer and middle fingers, then place it between your legs. Press it against the base of his penis as he thrusts. This gives him more stimulation where the condom is tightest (i.e., most numbing).

Buy a vibrating ring — Trojan, Durex, and LifeStyles sell them. It’s a plastic band attached to a buzzing nub. Place the band around the base of the condom, with the nub facing your clitoris, and enjoy the pulsating ride.

Find this article at:

Have Fun,

Sexual Carob

Household Item or Sex Toy

Sex toy producers are coming up with clever items that can be confused as traditional household items.

What about this blush brush?


Can you spot which item is for the household or sex toy?

Take the household item vs. sex toy quiz.

Let me know your score.  I got 9/12, which is not too bad of a score.

Mix Maven 

Glossy Friday ~ March 21, 2008

Happy Friday Glossy Ones,

You know how we do it on Fridays…


Ray J. is back with “Sexy Can I.” Gotta give it to Ray – he has been coming out with jams in recent times (“One Wish,” “What I Need“). While T-Pain caught flack for commenting on Ray’s “meat,” we have to agree with T-Pain 100%! LOL! Ray can get it at minute 2:45, getting his D’Angelo on! Yum!


Speaking D’Angelo, let’s go back and peep one of my fave videos of all time for very obvious reasons. Whenever I watch “How Does It Feel,” I have this overwhelming feeling of wanting to bump the camera down! Big ups to D’Angelo for giving us Ladies some eye candy!

I heard this on a Russ Parr “Wrong Song” mix last week and wow, it took me back. Here’s Oaktown 357 with “Juicy.” If you want to see it in color, click here.


Decisions, decisions!

You will be killing them softly in these Jessica Simpsons. The “Jacie” has the shine, the style and the 4.5 inch stilleto heel to turn heads. I couldn’t decide which color is the hottest – tell us which color you would rock! 🙂 I would definitely invest in the black pair, but the other two colors are simply dazzling. I would love to see Jess do a chain of shoe stores.


Are you longing for summer like I am? This has got to the be coldest and longest winter ever! SIDEBAR – If you haven’t read “The Coldest Winter Ever” by Sister Soulja, please believe it is a great read. An urban tale of life’s ups and downs, I could not put it down when I read it a few years ago. Ok, sorry, back to the matter at hand….I plan on dragging Mix and Sen to the beach as soon as it gets hot. Here is a darling ensemble I plan on getting from Old Navy:

How cute! Green is my fave color, so I’m too thrilled! LOL!

Or step out on the beach like a Top Model in this tank with matching bottom – that’s Dani from ANTM btw. I love it paired with the bracelets.

Think you don’t have the body for a swim suit? Then get a plain one piece suit and pair it with a cute cover up – it will look like you have on a dress:

I love breezy black and white prints for the summer.

How cute is this one!

I would wear this one as a cover up and later on, pair it with some jeans. Old Navy has cover ups that go up to a size 3X. No need to be ashamed to go to the beach this year Ladies – you do you! 🙂


If you have been with us from the beginning, you know Sensual Element’s first post was about Carmen Electra’s strip tease. Here is a clip of the routine that you can use for exercise and for turning things up with your lover.


Women, as you know, need time to get revved up. Although your man may be more than willing to pull out all the stops to get you hot, he wouldn’t mind if you gave yourself a running start. “A number of women still believe that it’s solely a man’s job to arouse them,” says Georgia sex therapist Gloria Brame, PhD. “To have a really fulfilling sexual experience though, you have to put some effort into getting yourself into a sexual state of mind.”To give your libido a boost, draw on the same sources of inspiration you use during solo self-pleasuring missions. Once his seduction scheme begins, close your eyes and fantasize about a hot encounter you had with your man…or even some other dude. “It’s totally okay to think about another sexual partner when you’re trying to turn yourself on,” reassures Brame. “You just might not want to tell your boyfriend about it.”
Unfortunately, real-life romps aren’t as seamless as they are in the movies. “Things don’t always go smoothly during sex — some positions don’t work, and odd noises happen,” says Gardos. “If you get hung up on a mishap, it will ruin the mood. But if you can both laugh, it becomes a light bonding moment.”Chas,* 28, agrees. “One night I tried a new move that wasn’t executed properly, and my girl hit her head on the nightstand! She didn’t hurt herself, so we could joke about it, and then we got back to what we were doing.”Frisky fun is about more than damage control though. Make a silly bet to be paid off in sexual favors or play a board game naked in bed and agree that the loser has to grant the winner one lusty request. Names have been changed.
When it comes to pleasing the women in their lives, every man wishes he had ESP (extrasexual perception). But the truth is, your libidinous longings can be baffling. “That’s why a guy loves it when you’re able to guide him without barking out orders,” says Gardos.So when giving erotic instruction, throw in some positive reinforcement. “Tell him how good it feels when he does something right, or remind him of a technique that always gets you off,” suggests Brame. “If he’s not giving you enough foreplay, ask him to use his hand or mouth to warm you up, saying that you want to draw out the experience.”
For men, what they see is almost as good as what they get, so make sure to give him an eyeful. “One time during sex, my girlfriend led me over to a mirror so we could see ourselves in action,” remembers Tyler, 21. “I found it really sexy, but what made it hotter was how into it she was.”Another way to turn him on with sight: Keep some clothes on. Sometimes men prefer when you leave a little to the imagination. “Sexy lingerie can be as arousing — or more so — as being nude, because it builds anticipation,” says Bob Berkowitz, PhD, coauthor of When Men Stop Having Sex.More great views: you in girl-on-top position or, if you’re feeling brave, touching yourself in front of him.
Even if you’re a bad girl at heart, you might hold back with your guy. “Women are often afraid to get naughty in a relationship, because they don’t want to shatter any ‘good girlfriend’ image he has or they don’t want him to think they’re weird,” explains Brame. “But men want to see that no-holds-barred side of you — they just don’t want to offend you by asking for it.”What dirty-girl tricks fit the bill? Pretty much anything that shows him how much you like sex and how much you want it with him, says Gardos. To let him know you’re into him, grab his butt hard when he’s climaxing or gently nip his shoulder.You may also want to do something unexpected, like initiating a new position or trying a passion prop. “My girlfriend and I were out shopping when she suggested we check out this sex-toy shop,” Nick, 27, says. “We ended up buying this thing called a penis sleeve, which is basically a thick, bumpy condom. Not only was it fun to use, but I loved how eager she was to try it.”
To separate yourself from the pack, you’ll need to pull a move so wild, he won’t be able to stop thinking about it the next day. “If you’ve mastered one particular technique that’s really hot and different, the entire erotic experience will stand out in his mind,” explains psychologist Joel Block, PhD, author of The Art of the Quickie.Now, you don’t have to bust out a complicated trick best used by yoga instructors — just tweak an old standby, say, switching between oral sex and intercourse…with him blindfolded.You may also want to come up with your own signature mouth move. “When my ex-girlfriend would go down on me, she took her time exploring the whole area with her tongue,” remembers Peter, 32. “And she did cool stuff with it, like alternating between using the flat part and then covering the same territory with just the tip. It was an entirely different sensation!”
Repetition can make once-hot sack sessions seem ho-hum. So be open to varying things in bed. Any change in speed, pressure, or position will make the act more interesting and pleasurable. “Variety keeps him in a heightened state of arousal because he never knows what to expect,” says Block.During foreplay, wrap your fist around his member (with lube!), moving it up and down with long, smooth strokes. Then add your other hand, and gently twist both hands in opposing directions. When you get to intercourse, start off slowly in missionary. Next, rest your feet on his shoulders for deeper thrusting. Finally, roll over, and let him enter you from behind.
“You’ll win big sexual points with your guy if you spring sex on him out of the blue,” says Gardos. “It gives him a huge ego boost by reinforcing the fact that you’re really hot for him.”For a spontaneous seduction, ask him to pull over to a deserted spot for a roadside romp when you’re driving home one night. Or at a party, take him into a back bedroom or closet. Joe, 23, remembers a naughty surprise attack at a black-tie affair. “My date and I were sitting down at dinner, and she slid her hand under the table and began to pleasure me — right in the middle of the meal! It was so spontaneous and unexpected. I could barely sit still,” he recalls.
The best way to bring out the sexy beast in your guy? Initiate some take-me-I’m-yours action. “He’d love to be raw and animalistic with you, but he needs to know you want it too,” says Brame. “Kiss him seductively and then pull away, saying that if he wants more, he can come and get it.” During the act, you can also tell him “harder” or “faster” if you feel like he’s handling you with kid gloves.Dave, 24, was totally psyched when a woman asked to be ravaged. “An ex-girlfriend lay down on the bed and begged me to rip off her clothes, which I did. The sex was great, but letting me tear her shirt in half was the best part because it was passionate and intense.”
On the flip side, occasionally men prefer it when you take over. Lying back while a chick has her way with him is an ultimate guy fantasy.Just ask Brian, 26: “I was dating a woman who was sort of a bookworm. But when I got her into bed for the first time, she was wild. Before I could even try to take off her clothes, she threw me back on the bed and blindfolded me with her bra,” he remembers. “Then she gave me the best oral sex ever. I didn’t have to lift a finger.”For a softer approach, Brame suggests treating your man to allover titillation: Have him lie on the bed naked. Then, starting at one foot, kiss and lick your way up his leg and along the crease where his thigh meets his torso. Next, move to his side, up to his neck, and down to his main event. When you’re ready for intercourse, treat him to reverse-cowgirl so he can’t help you, even if he wants to. Trust us: The payback will be awesome.
Have a Hot Weekend,
Hot Stuff

Stuff Pregnant Women Like

This is the year of the Baby in my family. Four babies will be born in 2008. The current score is 2 out and 2 to go. 😉

I notice that the moms-to-be are all different and yet the same.

I have noticed that pregnant women like (not in any order):

  1. Consuming food they would not normally eat. One of my cousins loves sweet desserts (sidebar: does not include any sweet vegetable, which she already found utterly disgusting), especially an occasional cookie or yellow cake with lemon frosting. Currently, she is totally disgusted by any sweet food or drink. She told me she is buying juice that with 17g-25g of sugar (no high fructose corn syrup.) Very cool to me! 😉 My favorite cousin was chowing down on soul food in her first trimester, which is funny because she does not normally eat soul food.
  2. Banana Republic – Two of my cousins have been going to Banana Republic to purchase maternity clothes. (No, BR does not sell maternity clothes) The blouson tops and dresses allow them to hit up the clearance rack for cute clothes without having to spend the high price of maternity branded clothes.Banana Republic Rouge TopBanana Republic Silver Flutter Top
  3. Pregnancy websites and blogs. Books are great, but pregnant women love to read these websites and blogs because they get updated information and cool 3-D womb shots and fetal development e-mails. Check out Nymbler (a baby naming tool, quite innovative. Select your names that you like and the wizard will help you find other names that you might like) and
  4. Guilt – This can be a valuable tool when asking husband to trek in the middle of the night to get food or get a glass of water downstairs in the kitchen. This should be used sparingly because you do not want to cause any feelings of resentment.
  5. Looking at paint store websites. My favorite cousin’s latest obsession (again) is She loves to decorate anyway and pregnancy has brought on a new project for her. She has been creating different color combos for me to check out. Oh fun times!!Benjamin Moore Paint
  6. Watching or recording the Baby Story on TLC. My cousin told me about how some of these women, the first-timers, want to have natural, drug-free delivery. I asked her would she do that and her answer is “HELL NOOOOO!!”
  7. Shopping for nursery furniture. (see #5)
  8. Shopping for baby clothes and accessories
  9. Expensive diaper bags. On my cousin’s wish list: A Louis Vuitton Diaper bag (that is a no-go area) Louis Vuitton Diaper Bag - Source: or a Coach (more acceptable) Coach Signature Stripe Large Tote
  10. Talking about their pregnancies. My fave cousin finds this conversation tends to be initiated by friends who already have kids and want to tell her about what they went through. She finds most of the information irrelevant to her situation.

I will update from time to time. Fun learning new things about motherhood.

Keep Believing,

Sexual Carob

Taking the G off the String

I have not been on a quest to find undergarments that would free me of visible panty lines (VPL). Despite that, I keep on stumbling on these items. One interesting product that I found to Guard the Lady Business, a strapless G-string.

This product from the Shibue Couture line helps ladies who do not want VPL, yet going “commando” is not option.

Shibue Couture Strapless G-String in Black Gold.

You are thinking how does this product stay on. Each panty comes with 12 adhesive front and back strips. I was curious about this product, especially if I had to go to the restroom. The website gives detailed instructions on how to use this product. According to the website, the strapless G-String should not replace the daily wearing of normal underwear.

Prices range from $32 to $38 and $10 for extra adhesive tape.

The G-string has become the quintessential sexy undergarment (lingerie, if you will) of choice for many women. Maybe the strapless G-string will take its rightful place in the pantheon of  lingerie.

Sexual Carob

Happy Valentine’s Day

Hey Pumps and Gloss-ers,

Wishing you a happy and fun Valentine’s Day.

Happy Valentine’s Day

The greatest thing you’ll ever learn
Is to love and be loved in return.
~ From “Unforgettable with Love” by Natalie Cole

Enjoy some favorite love songs:

Musiq SoulChild “Teachme”

Musiq SoulChild “Lullaby”

India Arie featuring John Legend “Brown Skin”

George Michael “I Want Your Sex”

George Michael and the Queen “I Knew You Were Waiting for Me.”


10 Sizzling Secrets of Women Who Love Sex

10 Sizzling Secrets of Women Who Love Sex – From

Follow this set of sex-cessful pleasure principles!

“I always assumed I had a pretty decent sex life — that is, until my pal Heather dished the dirt on how she and her fiancé were regularly burning up their bedroom,” recalls Justine, a 25-year-old paralegal. “Over lunch one day, she wickedly giggled that she was having incredible orgasms that gave her a round-the-clock, supersensual mind-set.” After coaxing her highly satisfied pal to spill her prized secrets, Justine felt like she had stumbled onto a sexual pot of gold. “Heather’s passion pointers have already taken my lust life from so-so to fantastically en fuego,” says Justine.

So what did Justine learn from her doing-it demon pal? For starters, mattress megaprowess has nothing to do with possessing a perfect bod or loads of experience. What Heather and other vixens do have is a sex-cessful set of 10 pleasure principles they inherently follow.

Here, Cosmo’s rounded up those randy rules so you too can become a member of the lusty ladies club — and keep your guy very, very grateful.

1. “I can switch on my sex drive.”
Sensually supercharged women don’t wait around patiently for the mood to strike. Instead, they set in motion the sex-psyching strategies that work for them every time.

“I conjure up a favorite fantasy — I imagine myself totally naked,” reveals Cassie, a 29-year-old receptionist. “Whether I’m sitting behind my desk at work or I’m at the gym, I’ll pretend my clothes are in a heap on the floor and that dozens of hungry male eyes are glued to my body.”

Another libido-lifting trick is to wake up your senses: Spritz on your man’s cologne, brush satiny fabric against your skin, or suck on some fruit. “Taking time to engage each sense — touch, taste, sound, scent, and sight — will quickly kick-start your lust drive,” advises Susan Block, Ph.D., a sex therapist and radio show host.

2. “My body is my pleasure palace.”
A desire diva doesn’t waste time fretting about stubble and cellulite or wishing she didn’t take so long to climax. Instead, she sees herself as a carnal conduit loaded with sensual capabilities. How did these chicks become so aware of their pleasure points? Chances are, they’ll credit masturbation.

To get better acquainted with your sexual self, take their cue and become your own passion professor. “My husband constantly thanks me for having such a swinging solo sex life,” says Kerry, 27, a chef. “It’s given me the chance to seek out my innermost hot spots and teach myself how to have a mind-blowing string of O’s.”

Another hands-on advantage: You take charge of your orgasmic destiny. “When a guy can’t find my G-spot, I’ll gently take his fingers and guide them,” says Christi, 32, a teacher. “He still gets to be the source of my pleasure, but I’m the one exploding with ecstasy.”

3. “I know I’m a sex goddess.”
“I usually do a little striptease before sex — first disrobing seductively in front of my guy, then finishing by shaking my butt,” reveals Rebecca, a 29-year-old therapist. Hearing that, you’d assume Rebecca has a tush as tempting as Jennifer Lopez’s. Surprise — she describes her behind as Flat City. “Long ago, I learned that men are turned on by a woman who is uninhibited about her sexuality,” she says. “My current beau would rather date a confident woman with an imperfect figure than a 36-24-36 chick who’s too timid to show her shape.”

The tricky thing about sexual confidence, as any carnal cowgirl will admit, is that you need a little to begin with before it can blossom into a natural part of your passion personality. So how do you start? “Fake it at first — that’s what I did,” admits Bari, a 25-year-old designer. “My now-boyfriend was a coworker of mine whom I had a massive crush on. So I mentally made over my attitude from mousy staffer to office tramp, asked him out for a beer, and let my inner sex goddess loose. Six months of incredible action later, I still haven’t reined in that attitude.”

4. “I speak up for myself in the sack.”
On-fire femmes know that men love to please. But even the most perceptive guy in the world won’t have your moan zones all mapped out. “I tell my partners how I want to be touched,” says Eliza, a 29-year-old psychologist. “Then I giggle and scream to reinforce what he’s doing. I let guys know how to send me soaring.”

If you’re not used to being so erotically expressive, clue in your man by praising his sexual performance. Compliment him on what he does do well, then add a subtle suggestion: “It turns me on so much when you kiss my breasts, I’d go wild if you put your hand between my legs too.”

Remember: This is the electronic age; email can also be an erotic way to detail your desire directions. “My man’s usual sex style — fast thrusting — was too rough. So I sent him a sexy message saying I was imagining him rocking me to a gentle, slo-mo climax,” recalls Marion, 24, a real estate agent. “That night, he begged me for a demo. He loved the lighter touch, and now we go slow each time.”

5. “It’s not if I have an orgasm — it’s how.”
Women who ooze erotic energy don’t view their Big O as a lucky bonus. Instead, reaching the pleasure pinnacle is their right. “Men don’t consider it sex unless they have an orgasm,” explains Maria, a 27-year-old sales assistant. “So why should I settle for almost-but-not-quite?” “I wish every woman would tattoo I deserve great sex on her brain,” says Gina Ogden, Ph.D., author of Women Who Love Sex (Womanspirit, 1999). “Sexual satisfaction is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don’t expect to be peeled off the ceiling, it won’t happen.” So start believing that every-time orgasms aren’t elusive rewards reserved for select women — they’re yours for the taking. “Once I became confident I would be able to come, I started having earth-shaking climaxes,” confirms Stephanie, a 23-year-old teaching assistant.

6. “I’ve mastered one signature sex move.”
“Most women try to please their partners with direct below-the-belt stimulation, so I devote my time to a guy’s lesser-known erogenous areas,” explains Mary, a 26-year-old jewelry designer. Her favorite place: that fleshy, supersensual web of skin between the thumb and finger. “Most guys I’ve dated don’t even know about this hot spot.”

Lust fiends like Mary know that mastering at least one unique, naughty-but-nice move can morph you from a hot-and-heavy lover to holy moly! sex-partner status. But you don’t have to focus on his G-rated hot spots alone or a specific sexual act. Your signature style can be about invoking an entire mood: sweetly simple, daring and dirty, or pushing the erotic envelope.

7. “I get to know his secret desires.”
Sexually charged chiquitas know that ecstasy is much more exciting when you skip the paint-by-numbers passion plan. “There’s nothing hotter than getting to know your partner and finding out which unique moves get him going,” Block says. “He’ll be blown away by having a willing woman explore his secret desires.”

“Just when I think I know the best oral-sex technique, a new lover and I will discover something I’d never have thought of,” explains Christina, a 25-year-old studio assistant. “My current partner showed me how to brush a pair of satin panties against his testicles while I’m going down on him. The two different sensations drive him over the edge — I’m afraid our neighbors are going to call the police on us.”

Taking the time to experiment with new caresses and positions won’t just make your guy grovel, it’ll expand your idea of what’s sexy. Plus, you’ll be able to use your newly discovered moves to whip future lovers into a frenzy.

8. “I never let sex get stale.”
Libidinous lasses love traveling to the outer limits of lust. “Once my man and I moved in together, sex went straight from sizzling to snoozeville,” recalls Sadie, a 28-year-old editor. “While lazily flipping cable channels late one night, we caught a soft-core movie — and the on-screen action was really turning us on. Now we rent erotic videos whenever our sex life needs energizing.”

Bodacious babes like Sadie know that as soon as sex loses its erotic edge, they have to take fast action. They’ll view steamy videos, try a sex toy, leaf through triple-X magazines, act out a secret fantasy, make love in a different location, or test-drive a scorching new position — almost anything in the pursuit of greater pleasure with their partner. To keep the heat in your relationship on high, vow to sample something naughty yet new at least once a week: Surprise your guy by doing the deed in the shower, read erotic books, or duck away from a party into an empty bedroom for a mischievous quickie.

9. “I’m passionate 24-7.”
“Sexuality is a round-the-clock activity, not an isolated act you do in 20-minute stretches,” explains Dina, a 33-year-old nurse. “So I’ll get up a little early to indulge in a luxurious bath rather than a five-minute shower. Or I’ll wear silk stockings instead of drugstore panty hose.”

We’re not suggesting that silk stockings are a substitute for sizzling sex. But burning babes never separate their lust lives from the rest of their lives. “Great lovers integrate desire into everything they do so they feel sensuous all day long,” says Susan Crain Bakos, author of Sexational Secrets (St. Martin’s Press, 1996). “I love pre-sex tension and post-sex afterglow as much as I love doing the deed itself, so I’ll make these moments extra sensual for me and my guy,” admits Felicity, a 24-year-old MBA student. “Before sex, I’ll flirt with him as if we were meeting for the first time. After we’ve climaxed, we keep touching each other, basking in how good we feel. Sex is so wonderful, why should it have a clear-cut beginning and end?”

10. “Sex is at the top of my to-do list.”
Girls who love sex never make those tired, same-old excuses — “I got my period”; “I had a stressful day”; “I feel sooo fat” — for why they can’t hit the sheets. Instead, passion is number one on their to-do lists, and they know that erotic action is the best cure for cramps, stress, and the blues. “Once you put off pleasure, it becomes easier and easier to postpone, and pretty soon you’re out of the habit,” explains Bakos. “It can be hard to get back in the sexual swing of things once your sensual switches have been turned off.”

So even if you’re not wildly turned on, you’ll be doing yourself a favor by slipping into a sensuous state of mind. “When I come home flipped out from a rough day at work, sex is the furthest thing from my mind,” remarks Amie, a 27-year-old reservations agent. “But instead of shutting out my boyfriend, I’d much rather re-spark my desire by kissing his five o’clock shadow and being held in his arms. Our lovemaking that night may not be mind-blowing, but it’ll feel good — and making each other feel good keeps our bond strong.”

Zane is looking for APF Members!



The Sorors of APF would appreciate it if you would pass this on to all the freaky people you know!

Thanks, Soror Cum Hard and Soror Three Input

Introduction from “The Sisters of APF” by Zane

 In the beginning, there was sex.  Boring, passionless sex with the women in the missionary position looking at the ceiling and wishing the man would hurry up and bust a nut so they could go to sleep.  That type of meaningless sex lasted for generations, from the days of the cave man to the days of the covered wagons to the days of the bouffant.

Men thinking they could just get their jollies off and not give anything in return.

Then something strange began to happen, right around the time women finally obtained the right to vote.  Sexual inhibitions began to vanish.  Sistahs began to realize that if they could work hard every day, bring home the bacon and raise a family, then they deserved a little hellified sex in their lives.  No, make that a lot of hellified sex.  They started telling men what they liked and disliked in the bedroom.  They started instructing them on how to please them.  Most importantly, they learned how to please themselves when men couldn’t do it for them.

Now is the time for the revolution!

The female sexual revolution!

As we embark on the new millennium,

it is time for all the real sexual divas

to stand up and be counted.

Embrace your freakiness.

Come out of the closets.

If your man can’t handle it,

trade his ass in for another one.

Where does it all begin?

Who knows?






“I know where the revolution begins.  It begins with the illustrious sorors of ALPHA PHI FUCKEM SORORITY, INC.  But even we began somewhere.  Every story has a beginning, a middle and an end.  This is ours.”

-Soror Ride Dick—Circa 2002

In 2008, The REVOLUTION Continues:

Zane officially presents the APF Toy Collection—not your ordinary adult toy collection but hand-picked selections from the Queen of Erotic Fiction. For years Zane has proclaimed that she would enlist the freakiest sisters on the planet to implement her plan to free the minds and yes, the pussies, of women everywhere.


The Illustrious Sorors of Alpha Phi Fuckem Sorority, Inc. will begin our first official rush beginning on Valentine’s Day 2008. Only women who are serious about their business when it comes to their sexuality will be considered. “The Head Bangers” will be the inaugural line and will be limited so that all parties involved can be guaranteed hellified experiences.


The APF Toy Collection will premiere in conjunction with “Zane’s Sex Chronicles” on Cinemax in May, where five freaky women: Zane/Patience, Lyric, Maricruz, Eboni and Ana Marie, will show the world what female empowerment is truly about.


If you are interested in being considered as a Soror and feel you are uninhibited enough to market The APF Toy Collection, please send an essay of at least 250 words to (see essays below from those who have already applied).


Tell us why you are up to the task of enlightening sisters and helping them to explore their sensuality. You will be notified within the next 90 days if you are Alpha Phi Fuckem material. We do not want boring adult toy parties, like so many other companies promote. We want—no, we demand—that APF parties be an “experience.” Therefore, you must be on top of your game. It is not as simple as signing onto a web site and paying to get in like the other companies. You have to fit in. Please include your desired “line name” in the subject line of your email. Just make sure you can live up to it. Even though the official rush does not begin until Valentine’s Day, we suggest you get your essay in earlier because we already know that a lot of sisters will want to be Head Bangers and once that line is closed, others will have to wait until the next rush to be considered.



Soror Ride Dick





Life is too short to spend scared of anything. Let alone to be scared of the power of pussy. Better yet of my own pussy. I’ve known this ever since I was a teenager. I realized I wasn’t like all the other females. Mind you, anybody can have sex. But, it takes a chosen few, real bad bitches, to have PHENOMENAL sex. I learned from an early age the secret to having PHENOMENAL sex was to just let go.


I’ve been scared of heights. Scared of water (large bodies, oceans, lakes). Scared of guns. Scared of success. But, never, in all my phobias and fears have I ever been scared of sex. Or dick. Why? God couldn’t have put a more beautiful thing on this earth than the black man’s dick. It’s artwork in its most purest and living form. I’m not happy until I wrap these extra thick, usually extra lip glossed succulent pillows around one to suck it dry or unless I’m wrapping the softest lips on this planet, locking one down in these dripping wet set of vice grips otherwise known as my pussy or better yet, what I call her, my “cookies.” Yes, there’s nothing more deliciously enjoyable than getting dick, good dick, and taking it, over and over again. I know I’m not the only one.


I have no problem, no issue discussing sex. I’d rather talk about sex. It’s easier to talk about sex. It’s something that everybody does and there’s always something new you can learn. I’ve been reading Cosmo, Playboy, Variations since I was 16 (yeah, I could have been reading Seventeen or Word Up! but damn, I figure if it’s something you like to do, you should learn to get better at it). Athletes do it, writers do it, musicians do it, why not people who like to fuck? I’ve never been afraid to ask about sex, seek advice, give advice, speak about sex. Never once have I been afraid to touch my body, give myself an amazing orgasm or tell someone, if they ask, what I suggest they do to give themselves or someone else an amazing orgasm.


Life is too short to ‘play a role’. To be this ‘good girl’ who pretends to not be knowledgeable or at the very worst, to pretend to not like sex. That is a crime. You can still be a lady and like to fuck and be a freak and be GREAT in bed. In fact, I don’t know any man who wouldn’t like that, enjoy it, revel in it.


So, is it a question whether I can be a Soror of Alpha Phi Fuckem, Inc? Naw. Not hardly. I’d love the privilege, the honor. I’d consider it to be as such. Can I host a Head Banger party? Shit, I don’t see why not. I could and have without the prestige of the title. Would I, if allowed, be a Soror of APF? Hell yeah. Because one thing I’ve learned in my brief twenty seven and ¾ years on this planet, life is short, play hard. And, I do, so oh so, seriously.








I am interested in becoming a rep for your sex toy line. Let me begin by introducing myself.

I am a twenty five year old freak that has been in the making for almost twelve years…yes, I said twelve years. The third man I ever slept with turned me completely upside down; I was fourteen and he was seventeen.  Even though he and I ended our relationship almost two years in, I must still thank him for opening my eyes to the pleasures that lie within my mind and my pussy.

After him I fucked a few men here and there but somehow they could never compare to my previous lover. This man would suck my pussy, massage my clit and take me to unforeseen places. It was not until a few months later that I met the man I now have been exclusive with for the last ten years. This man had a beautiful dick. I am talking chocolate, thick, sensual and tasty; the only problem was that he was not sexually liberated at all. I, as a matter of fact, was the first woman to ever suck his dick. Of course when I first slid my mouth down his, shaft I was thinking he had this done several times….well this man came in my mouth in less than a minute. At first I was furious, to say the least, but then I began to think. This will be my opportunity to turn this man out just as I was turned out.

My motto when I first would become sexually active with a man was that if you don’t eat pussy, I will not be taking a ride on your dick. It’s funny because men used to look at me in amazement. This man was no different; however he was stern with his answer. I am never doing that, that shit is nasty. Let’s put it like this; this man can’t get enough of my sweet cream. He does things he never thought he would…anal sex, oral sex, sex in public (and loving it), getting whipped, getting his body covered in just about any food of my choice, using sex toys on both he and I, hell this man has been so turned out he now even enjoys tossing that salad.


Please say hello to Soror Turn Em Out 



I would love to become a soror of the APF.  Let me explain.  I am 25 and honestly, I’ve had a little bit of freak in me for a long time.  I use toys, creams, etc. alone and with my boyfriend.  Unfortunately, I’ve been an undercover freak.  I’ve been undercover for the simple fact that I didn’t want to be portrayed as a whore, yet I wanted to be satisfied and satisfying.  Well I work with some women who shared a lot of sexual information with me about the things they’ve done to their men.  At that point, I was shocked that they were so open about it.  They were even willing to give me lessons and suggested I practice oral sex using a banana.  Of course, I’ve been a big fan of yours and I’ve read all of your books.  The only thing is that I wished that I could be as liberated as the characters.  Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t boring and I tend to keep it interesting but again I didn’t want to be too freaky because of society’s idea of being a whore.  Then I bought Dear G-Spot.  It wasn’t until then that I realized that it was ok to be wild and crazy in bed.  Now I know it is ok to be sexually uninhibited.  I aim to please.  I have been to several sex parties and I have enjoyed most.  I enjoy toys and movies and so does my man.  At first I would be flustered if someone said dick or pussy and somewhat embarrassed when I’d frequent the party shop.  Now, let me tell you, they know me on a first name basis.  I have even shared some tips to my horny co-workers. LOL.  So I would be honored to become a Soror of the Alpha Phi Fuckem committee.  Thank you for being bold enough to write erotic books, and thank you for writing Dear G Spot.  That book has opened doors for me sexually, and I am truly grateful.  Thank you again.  Love ya.



Well, I’m Lynnette, but my nickname is MILKY. After being married to a man 16 years older than me for ten years I have come to learn some things about myself. Once upon a time I used to be sexually shy, my THEN husband didn’t excite me, and never wanted to try new things with me. As his attention for me gazed away, I sought solace on the internet. I found men who loved my full figured body and all that I had to offer.’


I started with taking sexy provocative pictures of myself, and posted them on the web. Damn, what a huge response I got. I then found voice chat rooms online. I purchased a mic and would engage in lewd conduct and behavior when it was my turn to talk on the mic. I started feeling fuckstrated every damn day, and my husband was nowhere to be found. This prompted my 1st affair, with a 45-year-old man that lived in Philly. I have to admit he turned me the hell out… Then by chance my husband went away to jail (thank God), and I found myself meeting more men, fucking them, and learning to do things like give head.


After ten years, I divorced that jerk and started making my own home movies of me masturbating with various toys, and such. I even went as far as to have a beginner’s threesome with 2 male companions. That shyt made me realize I had a lot going for myself. I’m married to my NEW husband now, and we try any and everything. I even started writing short blogs awhile back, telling of these adventures I had, or that I would have liked to have. I know this email may be more than 1000 words, but ZANE, girl I am sorry. I always have a lot to say.

Any who, I think I would be a great business partner for your online toys. Hell, I may turn out to be your biggest customer as well.








Why am I uninhibited enough to become a soror of Alpha Phi Fuckem, Inc.

Sex is an act. At times, it’s not a feeling…well, most of the time. Some may think this is nasty or may think I’m whore. But in order for me to fulfill some of my wildest fantasies, I must think this way! Cum with me for a minute. Relax your mind and your muscles—all of your muscles. You may enjoy it. I know I did!

As I walked in, the music was okay. It was reggae night. I wasn’t feeling much like dancing, but I could definitely use a drink and sit at the bar. I was already horny as hell and the shot of Patron I had before leaving home did not sit well. I was a little stressed and needed to fuck desperately. I went to the bar upstairs in search of a boy toy. I got a Tokyo Tea and went back downstairs. Everyone was grooving. Sadly, they still weren’t playing any reggae, so I took a seat in the corner at the bar.

The drink was finally relaxing me! While scanning the area, I spotted this tall fine brotha walking my way! Now, I’m a fine-thick-ass-sista with a warm juicy pussy. In front of me, there was a slender chick. That brotha started my way, then he stopped to talk to her! “Damn ain’t that some shit!” I thought.  Oh well.

I kept bobbing my head and drinking my Tokyo Tea. At this time, I’m on my second one and my pussy was still wet. Now, even more! I lock eyes with the same brotha. Okay wait a minute! He lifted that slender chick from her stool and sat her on top of the bar! He comes up to me and says, “I’ve been watching you since you arrived and I want to touch and feel you because I know you got some bomb ass pussy!”

By now, my pussy was thumping and all of my prayers were being answered. I needed to release some frustration and tension and he was perfect. I placed my hand on the bulge in his pants and DAY-UM he was blessed! He whispered to me about his loft up the street and invited me there for drinks or whatever. My mind was focused on the “whatever.” Bam! I bounced back to reality! I didn’t drive that night! I rode with friends! SHIT! What can I do? I don’t normally jump into the car with strangers. But my pussy was talking and I had to listen. “Tonight,” I thought, “she’s the boss!”

He was parked across the street. He grabbed my hand as we jaywalked to his ride. His hand was so warm and twice the size of mine. Damn, I can’t wait to feel his Dick inside of me! But before that, there would be a primer. When we got into the car, he drove with one hand. The other was quite nicely occupied reaching up my skirt. He immediately slipped his finger through my sugar walls. Thankfully, I shaved that morning, so my shit was bare as a baby’s bottom. I knew he had skills—he can drive and finger fuck me! I sat back and placed one leg on the dashboard so that he could dig deep! I slid my ass down so that he could go deeper and deeper. I had to mentally tell myself not to cum! I’m enjoying every minute of this finger fucking and the anticipation of Mr. Mandingo’s Dick has me wet as hell!

When we arrived at the loft, I bent over the marble desk as he undressed me. Tonight was the night where…oops, I forgot my panties! He started kissing me from head to toe. He gently slid his tongue up my inner thigh and got to my pearl. “Wet,” he said as he licked out my juices. I was ready to explode. I wanted to feel that big ol’ Mandingo inside of me.

He put on a condom, bent me over and began licking my ass! Oh my God, he’s trying to turn me out. Finally, I felt his manhood go into my pussy. “Mmmm,” I moan and he went to work. I came instantly. We went from the desk, then to the chair, and then to the floor. The entire time his Dick never left my pussy. As I gyrated, I squeezed, and he pumped. I came, then he came! I came a total of six times!

I looked at the clock and it had been two hours since we left the club. My friends were waiting for me. They were drunk in the car. I kissed Mr. Mandingo on the forehead, then he asked if I would call him. I answered “yes,” but I knew it was a lie. There was really no need. I got what I needed. I got rid of some tension and he got some good pussy! This was definitely only about fucking.

Damn! Just thinking about it still makes my pussy wet! I’m the next Soror of Alpha Phi Fuckem, Inc. I’m ready and I definitely have what it takes. I would be a great asset to your organization. Accept me…as I am!