Stuff New Moms Need

There are plenty of new moms in my family.  They are all are excited about the babies, most of them are new moms and one has multiple children.  One’s life changes as soon as the baby is home.   I would think the hardest thing about being a new mom is getting enough sleep, which can negatively impact other activities.  I decided to come up with a list of things that I believe a new mom needs to help her adjust to her new bundle of joy.

Maternity

So every new mom needs:

1. Chef – A new mom is tired, which means she does not need to be operating anything with fire or heat.   Having a chef may be a luxury, BUT family members and friends should make sure the new family is eating sensible meals everyday (well, at least, the first 4 weeks after delivery.)

2. Housekeeper – A healing mother should not be vacuuming or doing dishes the first month after delivery.

3. Babysitter – Now, some moms do not like to leave their child(ren) with other people.  (I suggest that they read Find The Time.)  First time moms should begin scouting out prospective babysitters while pregnant.  (This is important if new mom live in a place where she has little to no family members.)  New parents will need to find someone they respect and trust to take care of their child(ren).  I also suggest not burning bridges with people who would be great sitters.  Start with leaving the child with the sitter for a couple of hours and phase in more hours as he or she gets older.  For example, if the anniversary weekend is coming up and want to leave the child with grandma (do not let that be the first time he or she is away from for a long period of time.)

4. Date Night –  Date night is very important to rekindle the sparks in your relationship.  (Main reason why #3 is very important.)   I know people who do not spend much time without their child(ren).  That is a bad sign in a relationship.  Will the relationship last when the child(ren) leave to go to school?  Preservation of the relationship should be on-going and deliberate.

5. Pampering – (No connection to Pampers Diapers) A new mom must be reminded that it is ok for her to pamper herself or to be pampered.  Take her to her favorite cosmetic counter or to a spa.  She is stressed out (but may not want to say), so nudge her (kindly and gently) to take some time for herself.  A happy mom means a happy baby and, ultimately, a happy household.

So check on your new moms TODAY!!!!

Mix Maven

Have Fun With A Condom

I know some people out there do not like condoms. I was on the Pill for the longest and my libido was lower than I liked. When I stopped using the Pill, and started using condoms on a regular basis, I was back to the Sexual Carob that I know and love.  Mr. Carob & I do not believe in the “condom-breaking” scenario that some cry about. If you know how to put a condom on, the likelihood of breaking or bursting is minimal.
Here are some fun tips from Cosmo:

How To Make Condoms More Fun

No need to bust out silly party tricks! Thanks to Cosmo’s genius tips, wearing protection will be so pleasurable, your man won’t ever bitch and moan about it again.

Check out Cosmo's genius condom tips! Wearing protection will be so pleasurable...Making condoms sound playful is easy (love glove, woody hoodie, peter parka…). But coming up with cutesy names isn’t enough to get a guy to like wearing one, despite the fact that they ward off unwanted pregnancies and STDs. Lucky for you, Cosmo has found ways to maximize pleasure while using protection. “It’s as simple as choosing the right rubber, making him feel at ease, and keeping the intensity high throughout the act,” says sexologist Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD, author of Sex With Your Ex. When you do all three, “he won’t have the usual anxiety about losing his erection or not being able to climax.” What’s more, you’ll be able to milk more sensations out of safe sex too. We’re sharing it all right here.

Shopping Tips

Most people spend all of seven seconds choosing a condom, according to data from Trojan. But a last-minute dash to the drugstore can mean less satisfaction in the sack. Below, we explain how to pick a winner.

Size matters. The right fit completely changes how a guy experiences sex with a condom. One that’s too tight reduces sensation, takes longer to get on (which can deflate his erection), and is more likely to break. Quick sizing test: If you can’t roll the raincoat all the way down to the base of his penis, it’s not large enough. That said, an oversize one can slip off, and the extra material can make your dude feel inadequate.

Though the standard size of condoms is about 7 inches long, the length can vary up to an inch and girth sizes also range, so experiment with brands and styles (sites like list size categories).

Try a condom designed with a swirl or bulb at the end of it — it’ll say so on the box, usually with a word like twist or pleasure or spiral. These models fit securely around the base of his shaft while creating more friction near the nerve-packed head of his penis.

Consider a polyurethane prophylactic. Unlike latex, they transmit body heat, making intercourse feel more sensual. If you and your guy are committed and STD-free, try a lambskin condom. These also transmit heat, and many men swear this type feels more like skin on skin. But they only protect against pregnancy, since the natural, porous material can allow the transmission of STDs.

Let’s Get It On

Rolling one on doesn’t have to ruin the mood.

The faster you can slip on a safety sheath, the less likely he is to go limp. Minimize fumbling by opening the wrapper during foreplay. Pull the condom out, and place two drops of lube inside. This increases sensation at the supersensitive head of his penis. Place the opening over the top of his shaft. Hold it there with one hand, lightly squeeze the tip of the condom, and use the other hand to unravel it all the way down to the base of his member.

For a treat, use your mouth. Dab your lips with lube, then lightly suck the (nonspermicidal!) disc into your mouth with the nipple end inward. (Grossed out? Try a flavored love glove.) Carefully wrap your lips over your teeth and put your mouth at the head of his member. Push your lips against the ring of the condom, slide it down his shaft, and unroll the rest with your hand. Ta-da!

Pleasure-Maxing Moves

A condom needn’t come between you, him, and a climax.

Squeeze your legs together in missionary or doggie-style to create extra pressure.

Make a V with your pointer and middle fingers, then place it between your legs. Press it against the base of his penis as he thrusts. This gives him more stimulation where the condom is tightest (i.e., most numbing).

Buy a vibrating ring — Trojan, Durex, and LifeStyles sell them. It’s a plastic band attached to a buzzing nub. Place the band around the base of the condom, with the nub facing your clitoris, and enjoy the pulsating ride.

Find this article at: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/sex/How-to-Make-Condoms-More-Fun

Have Fun,

Sexual Carob

Household Item or Sex Toy

Sex toy producers are coming up with clever items that can be confused as traditional household items.

What about this blush brush?

blush-brush.jpg

Can you spot which item is for the household or sex toy?

Take the household item vs. sex toy quiz.

Let me know your score.  I got 9/12, which is not too bad of a score.

Mix Maven 

Resurrection Day

1In the end of the Sabbath, as it began to dawn toward the first day of the week, came Mary Magdalene and the other Mary to see the sepulchre.

2And, behold, there was a great earthquake: for the angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door, and sat upon it.

3His countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow:

4And for fear of him the keepers did shake, and became as dead men.

5And the angel answered and said unto the women, Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified.

6He is not here: for he is risen, as he said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay.

7And go quickly, and tell his disciples that he is risen from the dead; and, behold, he goeth before you into Galilee; there shall ye see him: lo, I have told you.

8And they departed quickly from the sepulchre with fear and great joy; and did run to bring his disciples word.

9And as they went to tell his disciples, behold, Jesus met them, saying, All hail. And they came and held him by the feet, and worshipped him.

10Then said Jesus unto them, Be not afraid: go tell my brethren that they go into Galilee, and there shall they see me.

Matthew 28:1-10

Take time today  (and everyday) to reflect on the love of Jesus Christ for humanity.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Hey Pumps and Gloss-ers,

Wishing you a happy and fun Valentine’s Day.

Happy Valentine’s Day

The greatest thing you’ll ever learn
Is to love and be loved in return.
~ From “Unforgettable with Love” by Natalie Cole

Enjoy some favorite love songs:

Musiq SoulChild “Teachme”

Musiq SoulChild “Lullaby”

India Arie featuring John Legend “Brown Skin”

George Michael “I Want Your Sex”

George Michael and the Queen “I Knew You Were Waiting for Me.”

 

Glossy Monday Variety

Hey Glossy Ones,

Hope you all had a great weekend!

MONDAY MELODY

I have always loved this song – “Valentine” by Lloyd.

MONDAY FLASHBACK

Boomerang” had some of the greatest songs on its soundtrack.  Here’s “I’d Die Without You” by P.M. Dawn.

I had to throw this clip in! LOL!

JOY’S PURSE PICK

neimanmarcus.com

I adore this Kate Spade Daisy Shopper bag – with the dimensions of 10 1/2″H x 8 1/2″W x 5″D, it is the perfect size for work, school or travel.

JOY’S SHOE PICK

macys.com

This Via Spiga Shoe is too darling – not too loud in color and cool enough to wear with jeans.  The Equate Mary Jane Pump is a must have.

A QUICK HISTORY LESSON ON VALENTINE’S DAY

from Wikipedia.com

Valentine’s Day is a holiday celebrated on February 14. It is the traditional day on which lovers express their love for each other; sending Valentine’s cards, or offering candy. It is very common to present flowers on Valentine’s Day. The holiday is named after two among the numerous Early Christian martyrs named Valentine. The day became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished.

The day is most closely associated with the mutual exchange of love notes in the form of “valentines.” Modern Valentine symbols include the heart-shaped outline and the figure of the winged Cupid. Since the 19th century, handwritten notes have largely given way to mass-produced greeting cards. The mid-nineteenth century Valentine’s Day trade was a harbinger of further commercialized holidays in the United States to follow. The U.S. Greeting Card Association estimates that approximately one billion valentines are sent each year worldwide, making the day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year behind Christmas. The association estimates that women purchase approximately 85 percent of all valentines.

GOD’S DEFINITION OF LOVE

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.   ~ I Corinthians 13:4-8

LOVE IS…ACCORDING TO THE SIMMPSONS

EIGHT HATEFUL THINGS WOMEN DO TO EACH OTHER

I got this through e-mail, so the author is unknown – if anyone knows who wrote this, please let us know! 🙂

It’s become the silent emotional killer among women. Women who are downright mean, malicious and disrespectful with each other. This trend is creating havoc in our relationships with each other, for it strikes the core of sisterhood. Real sisterhood can only exist when respect and trust stand unshakeable. In this particular, most men are quite opposite to us. For a man, a brother is a brother. However, what is most disturbing about our malicious ways is that we are passing on a legacy of a broken sisterhood to our daughters. Girls that are mean and catty are usually this way because their understanding is that this is a normal part of femaleness. They grow up to become mean and catty women who perpetuate a diseased sisterhood. To break this cycle we each need to make a conscious effort to validate all women. Be their friends or not.
Otherwise, we will continue to find ourselves moving within circles of female hostility, suspicion, and pain. Here is my list of the most detestable practices that we need to discontinue in order to heal our sisterhood:

1. Talking about each other – You are really not her friend if what you
have to say about her is so bad you can’t say it in front of her. If you
are a real friend you should be able to tell her your concerns for her
life to her face. If you have the need to tell others, but you haven’t
found the time to tell her – red lights should be flashing. Believe it
or not, gossiping is not an intrinsic part of being female. Women who
gossip do it not because it’s a woman-thing, but because they want to
elevate themselves and put other women in a place of inferiority.
Gossiping is just another symptom of deeper insecurities.
 
2. Fighting for men
– One of the most undignified things that any woman
can do is to fight, argue, or curse another woman over a man. It’s a
disgusting trend that used to be a school girl thing, but today adult
women are doing it too. If both of you are in conflict – because his
choice is not clear – then that means that he’s really not into any of
you. He’s probably playing both of you. That man really does not deserve
love or attention from either one of you.  Let him go.

3. Joining female gangs – Women who make you feel unwelcome and unwanted within their circle of friends are not to be trusted. Women cliques have
become common in the workplace, at church, in the neighborhood. Cliques
are the dwelling place of insecure women. Women who join cliques are
seeking refuge from their own lack of confidence by cocooning themselves
within this circle of supposed exclusivity. Again, the need to belong
to, or be part of a clique is also a sign of deeper insecurities.
Beware, cliques are usually encouraged and thrive on a type of gang mentality.

4. Undermining each other – Beware of any woman who can never celebrate your accomplishments with you. It could be a new boyfriend, a promotion,
an award, a new job, a new acquisition, weight loss. If she has nothing
positive to say to you about it, does not show emotional support, or
chooses to remain silent she is not a true friend. Real friends know how
to recognize and genuinely rejoice for our successes with pride.

5. Competing against each other – You need to get this straight. There
will always be another woman with nicer hair, a more caring husband or
boyfriend, better behaved children, a better paying job, a bigger house,
a more fashionable wardrobe – there will always be some woman with more
of what you don’t have. Consequently, the only person that you need to
compete against is yourself. Strive to be the best that you can be – for
you. Competing against other women to prove yourself superior is a
financial and emotional drainer. Because of this mindless competition we
become mean, envious and hypocritical. It is pointless.

6. Disrespecting boundaries – To survive peacefully every relationship
and every friendship must have clear boundaries. Good relationships
operate within margins of respect. Within this level of respect, privacy
and intimacy are keywords. Yes, you are my friend, but that doesn’t give
me the right to walk into your bedroom or your kitchen, unbeknownst to
you, and help myself to your stuff. I don’t do this not because you
won’t allow me to, but because I respect your privacy and your things.
Consequently, we both need to know and respect each other’s levels of
privacy and intimacy.
 
7. Crossing boundaries – This is similar to the above; the only
difference is that my respect of your boundaries should never depend on
my friendship with you. We need to respect women for the simple fact
that they are women. If she is a woman she is a sister. Period.
Therefore, from that understanding I will have the utmost respect for
her children, her man, her opinions, her choices, and for her as a
person. It amazes me how women are quick to disrespect another sister’s
boundaries, but feel offended if another woman does to them the same
exact thing. Honestly, that type of inconsistent behavior can only be
credited to some form of mental illness.
 
8. Exploiting our friendships – This is a major one. Why are you
friends? Do you only remember her being around whenever she could get
something from you? It doesn’t even have to be material. It could just
be your time or your positive energy. Does she happen to be always on
the receiving side, with you dishing out ton loads of yourself or your
stuff? Or is she your friend because of what you represent? It could be
that your husband’s position or yours, your possessions, your talent,
whatever, represents some form of achievement. Is she a friend because
that link to you places her on a higher platform? In a real friendship
appreciation, support, and loyalty must be reciprocal.

Have a wonderful week!

~ Joy

For Richer or For Poorer

Hey Pumps and Gloss-ers,

Wedding season is approaching very quickly. Many brides are finalizing reception, floral arrangements, and other related wedding activities.

I have discussed many aspects of wedding attire and accessories, but not the actual wedding/reception party planning.

Wedding Reception

We all know that weddings/receptions can be expensive. If possible, your best bet is to begin the planning process early. Please bare in mind that the actual wedding is not as costly as the reception. You can probably get away with faux flowers and tulle on the pews and a few flowers, columns, and so forth on the rostrum.

The reception is probably 60-80% of the budget, assuming that all of the bridal party will be paying out of their own pockets, which is pretty much standard, unless you are aware of financial hardship with a couple of bridal participants. Here is Mix Maven’s rule of thumb, “If you cannot afford the reception, you need to keep the wedding invites to a minimum.” Opt for a destination ceremony that will limit who can come to the wedding, which, ultimately, means less money flowing out of your pocket.

Preston Bailey’s Sandals Destination Wedding

I must stress that you cannot have a caviar and saltfish reception. You must either keep the reception elegant or decide on a casual event. Do not mix the two. A friend of mine was telling me about a wedding that the friend was planning with the bride. The bride asked the friend to help because she likes my friend’s taste, which is quite impeccable. The friend told me how the bride wanted to use plastic or paper plates for dining *gasp* as well as setting up a lobby for the reception. *double gasp*!!! To add insult to injury, the bride and groom wanted to serve a specific ethnic menu to all guests, but the menu would cater to 25% of guests. Why? Because the menu was the cheapest. Now, the best solution would be to cater to both sets, negotiating rates that will be conducive to their budget. (Sidebar: if you have a significant amount of guests that are vegetarian, do not relegate them to eating cheese and pasta. Make sure that substantive food i.e. protein is provided for them.)

Spring Rolls - Source: MarthaStewart.com

I am not saying that you should not find bargains, but be careful of where you decide to cut costs. I am a bargain shopper, but I know that you get what you pay for. Do not cut costs on food. If you cannot afford to feed people good food, DO NOT have a reception. I heard about a bride wanting to have a potluck for her wedding reception, thankfully, a relative stepped in and helped to make sure the event was catered.

Do not treat guests with disdain by providing them substandard fair, yet still wanting gifts from them . Elegance does not have to be butchered, if your budget is not the amount you want it to be, be open to creative affordable options that will still add the touch of elegance you desire. You, your spouse, family and guests are definitely worth it! Always REMEMBER, Your wedding day is a reflection of you and your new spouse, so make sure the look you want is cohesive and charming.

Keep It Classy,

Mix Maven

A Few of My Favorite…….

Happy Holidays (Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and Happy Kwanzaa) to all.

This writer’s strike is really bothering me. I am missing Conan O’Brien, The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. If there were not other important things going on in my life, I would have no reason to exist. I hope both parties can come to a suitable agreement, so I can see my men live on the TV once again.

My top 5 favorites shows are (not in any specific order) that I have never discussed on Pumps and Gloss before:

  1. Eureka on the SciFi Network – Mr. Maven turned me on to this show as he is a sci-fi fan, but not in a weird/nerdy way. The show is about a sheriff who moves to a town where all the residents are geniuses. One of the major employers of the town is Global Dynamic where scientists work on high-level, top secret assignments for the Department of Defense. The show has a nice mix of romance, science and mayhem, which I totally love. The ensemble cast includes Salli Richardson, Joe Morton, and Colin Ferguson.Eureka - SciFi Network
  2. The Nanny -I love this show. When the show first aired, I was a freshman in college. At the time, I liked how Nanny Fine dressed because I, too, loved the short skirts and wore them as often as I could. The show is a classic just like “I Love Lucy.”The Nanny - Source:Amazo.com
  3. I am not a huge animated fan, but I love “The Boondocks.” This sharply written animated show is definitely NOT for the kids. The show is based on the cartoon strip of the same name. The strip contained a biting critique of popular and political culture in the United States. My favorite episodes include Gangstalicious, a rapper who gets shot and kisses a fellow male rapper. I am still trying to figure out who he is supposed to represent.The Boondocks - Cartoon Network
  4. Chuck is a new show on NBC prime time. We missed a few episodes in the beginning. Thankfully, we were able to catch on easily to the show. “Chuck” is a show about 20-something techy nerd, who accidentally downloads NSA and CIA information into his brain. Chuck works at BuyMore as a tech support that works in the Nerd Herd (i.e. Geek Squad.) He works undercover for the government and each week battles, along with his spy handlers, terrorists and other evil-doers. Chuck - NBC.com
  5. Las Vegas is worth watching for Josh Duhamel alone. He is definitely fine!! I liked the kick-a$$ nature of the show, until James Caan decided to leave the show, I am sure for valid reasons. The new addition of Tom Selleck as casino owner is a, somewhat, dull . Would have been super nice, if Mike got the President of Operations job, considering he has a degree from MIT. Still I enjoy the show, but I waiting for an increase in kick assery.Las Vegas - NBC.com

What are some of your favorite television shows?

Decking the Halls with Boughs of Holly,

Mix Maven

Sport and the Lady

Happy Wednesday Pumps and Gloss-ers,

I am very excited about the Red Sox World Series win. Mr. Maven and I used to live in the Greater Boston area and we like to think that our presence in the region helped to turn the Red Sox and Patriots into winning organizations. Boo hiss to the Celtics and Bruins. My local teams are far superior to them.

I found this cute picture of future Boston Red Sox fans on Boston.com

New Red Sox Fans

New Englanders are very passionate about their sports’ teams, which means the ladies must be just as attentive to sports as the men.

I was out with my friend, LH, on a Sunday. Her fiance called in to check in with her, during his weekly football game. [That is love 😉 ] So she was resigned to the fact that her honey will be unavailable for 16 weeks plus playoffs and Super Bowl. Actually, the games are scheduled for 17 weeks (34 days including Monday Night Football and some Thursday nights) and all teams get a bye (rest) week. Thank goodness he is not into the NBA because the post-season is about 3 months. Saying all this, ladies, you must join in the action, every now and again.

Mr. Maven is fortunate that I like sports, I do not watch often because of various factors, but I enjoy keeping up with my fave teams.

Here are some tips for learning sports:

1. Watch Pardon The Interruption on ESPN. This show is one of the funniest shows on the TV. Tony Kornheiser and Mike Wilbon are Washington-based writers that decided they needed to be on television. They also discuss popular culture topics i.e. American Idol and other popular shows.

Tony Kornheiser & Mike Wilbon - Espn.com

2. Find a cute player on the team to cheer for. One of my favorites is Tom Brady. He is definitely yummilicious. I have followed his career from his time at Michigan to the New England Patriots. In football, it is helpful to check out the buttocks. Now, if your man likes hockey, the players do not look good on ice, but they clean up well.

Tom Brady

3. Read books about the sport. Some of my friends recommend:

Get Your Own Darn* Beer, I’m Watching the Game!: A Woman’s Guide to Loving Pro Football by Holly Robinson Peete

holly-robinson-peete.jpg

4. Try to limit questions during the game. Take notes and ask your hubby on Tuesday. He will be pleased and will do chores around the house without being prompted.

5. See Tip 1. One cannot get enough of ESPN.

I hope these tips will help you learn more about sports and enjoy with your spouse or significant other.

Have Fun,

Mix Maven

Everything I Am

Happy Wednesday,

I realize that all artistic geniuses are troubled, which explains Kanye’s frequent rants and why sonme artists consider suicide as cure all for personal angst. (Mental illness should no longer be ignored!)

Saying all that, Kanye West was a good sport for doing the skits on Saturday Night Live of his obnoxious ranting and raving. The best quote of the skit, Kanye storms the podium lambasting the children for voting for “Drake and Josh.” He screams, “how’s kids gonna get taken seriously, if they keep making bad choices. I used to believe the children were our future, but f*** that!” Too funny!!!

You all need to cop [if you have not done so already] (are people still saying cop), “Graduation”. Kanye’s sound is not formulaic compared to other mainstream rappers, he fuses hip hop and reggae, alternative sounds even has Chris Martin of ColdPlay singing the hook to one of his songs. I enjoy this album, the current standouts are “Champion”, “Good Life” with T-Pain, the MJ sample of “PYT”, which the Ladies of P&G are certified members of this exclusive club, “Everything I Am,” a heartfelt anthem about being different in the rap game, and the heart wrenching, “Bittersweet Poetry,” which features the vocal stylings of John Mayer. (The first time I heard this song, I did not realize JM was on the track.) This angst-laden song laments a complicated love affair. Mayer croons, “I don’t want you, but I need you/I love you and hate you at the very same time.”

Can’t Tell Me Nothing

Good Life

Bittersweet Poetry

Joyful Radiance, not an avid SNL viewer, decided to watch the season premiere. Her favorite parody of the night was “High School Musical 3: Return of the Seniors.” She told me that she fell off her sofa when she heard LeBron sing, “On second thought/ I think I’ll stick around/Play a little ball/And have sex with your girlfriend.” She does not want anyone to know that she will be watching more often. 😉 That is our little secret. (Shhhh)

Have an awesome week

Mix Maven

P.S.

Sexual Carob has recommend some “toys” for me to try. Will report when I return from my anniversary excursion.