Glossy Picks and Giveaway –

We found a really great website to close out Sex and Love Week with a bang! has any and everything for you and your lover. Judging by the name of the site, they have any and everything for you alone too! Do not let the name fool you – the site is tasteful, professional and has Hacker Safe protection.

When we decided to do our picks from, it was so hard to just pick a few items. From bullets, to lotions, to dildos, to “pillows“, to lingerie, to games, to (of course) vibrators, to all kinds of sex toys….and on and on we could go, you have to check this site out for yourself.

Here are our Glossy Picks from….

Joyful Radiance and her hubby love games and this one looks like so much fun!

PervARTistry is a drawing game with 500 sex related words for you to draw. While the box says you don’t have to be a pervert to play, but it probably doesn’t hurt.

Joy believes that “every woman’s secret fantasy is to have a waterproof vibrator for the bath or shower” (Deny it all you want!). The Elite 7x Waterproof Ultimate Orgasm Vibrator will satisfy any fantasy you may have.

Mix Maven needs a place to stash her toys. This attractive, yet low-key Sex Toy Chest will hold all her many sex toys (Mix says, “Ok, not that many.”) The chest can be stored anywhere for easy access.

The Cosmic Invader is a nice addition to Mix’s collection. This toy does the job well. Mix loves to use the Cosmic Invader with or without the battery…. She purrs, “It definitely hits the G spot!! Works well in foreplay and post play!!” She gives it 3 out of 4 Pumps.

Sensual Element is drawn to the Liberator Cube. Sen says, “Thisis different and looks like it would bring a lot of joy! On the Cube, you can effortlessly transition from lap dance into vertical sex (Lotus position for you Kama Sutra students). The Cube is also good for doggie style when positioned next to a bed and makes off-the-side-of-the-bed sex much better. While not in use the Cube disguises itself as a chic ottoman.”

Sen is all for getting to know your lover on a more intimate level. That’s why she chose the “Hump” game. A fun and sexy game, you have to play to win because the winner is rewarded nicely!

We cannot express how difficult it was to just pick two items each to share. All three of us are likely to go broke placing orders on We will be sharing what we buy in the near future!

We love so much that we want you to join in on the fun. The Ladies of Pumps and Gloss are giving away a $30.00 Gift Certificate so you can get your shop on at!

To enter, e-mail us at with your 1) Name, 2) City and State, and 3) Tell us what you like and/or dislike about our site and any topic suggestions for our Sex and Love Fridays. We value your feedback!

The deadline to enter is 12 Noon EST Wednesday, October 3, 2007. The Ladies of Pumps and Gloss will vote and the Winner will be announced on Friday, October 5, 2007.

We hope you enjoyed Sex and Love Week!

The Ladies of Pumps and Gloss

Our Jams – Love Songs Version

You cannot say “love song” without thinking of Luther Vandross.  Here is “A House Is Not A Home.”  We miss you Luther!

We are big India Arie fans – here is “Brown Skin” (above) and “The Truth” (below).

Where is Jesse Powell hiding?  “You” is from his first cd, which was self titled.  GREAT cd for lovers.

We heard you Karen!  Here is En Vogue’s “Don’t Let Go.”

One of our P&G readers, D-Dub, requested Ruff Endz’ “Someone To Love You.”  This was, and still is, the jam!  Thanks D!

Isn’t Kindred The Family Soul a great example of love?  “Stars” is a “great celebration of love” song.

10 Ways To Love Fearlessly

10 Ways To Love Fearlessly

By Peter Pearson, Ph.D, from

Let’s face it: love is messy. With its magnified highs and lows, love is unpredictable and never what we expect – so much so that we might be tempted to cower in fear. But if we approach love with the courage of a warrior, we can have relationships of heroic proportions. Here are 10 ways:

1. BE YOURSELF. If we want to be loved for who we truly are, why put on an act?

2. DON’T BELIEVE YOUR STORIES. Our interpretation of events and feelings is, in fact, just one possibility for what is actually true. Focus on what IS to get closer to the truth.

3. STAY OPEN. Fear shuts us down. But when we are vulnerable, true connection to others is possible.

4. SPEAK UP. We become silent when we desperately want to connect.

5. STOP LOOKING FOR PERFECTION. More than likely, what we call “high standards” is a mask for our own feelings of inadequacy.

6. EMBRACE THE MESSINESS. It gives us the gift of growth.

7. GET MAD. Learn the difference, though, between expressing anger responsibly and dumping it.

8. LOVE WITH NO THOUGHT OF WHAT YOU’LL GET IN RETURN. This is fearless love in action.

9. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. Be accountable for your own emotions, thoughts and actions.

10. LOVE YOURSELF. Only then can you love others and be loved.

If these pointers sound like too much to take on, choose one. Keep your focus on it until it becomes an automatic reaction. Practice one a month, and your year will be full of growth.

100 Ways To Love Your Mate

100 Ways To Love Your Mate

By Connie Saindon of Self Help Magazine

This list is designed to be a quick check for you to review. Use it to give you ideas to maintain your relationship, to give it a positive boost or to select a holiday gift. Some couples have also used it as a request list. They have circled what they would like to have and asked their partner to do the same. Feel free to add to the list and use it again and again. Enjoy!

1. Hug them.
2. Write a love note.
3. Call them at work just to say “Hi.”
4. Give them a foot massage.
5. Tell them a joke.
6. Caress them with slow gentle strokes.
7. Go for a walk with them.
8. Send them a “happy gram.”
9. Admit your mistakes.
10. Say: “I love you.”
11. Indulge a whim.
12. Listen to them talk about an interest of theirs.
13. Be trustworthy.
14. Instead of complaining, tell them what you would prefer.
15. Look at them when you’re in a discussion.
16. Send flowers.
17. Compliment something they did.
18. Offer to help.
19. Ask them to show you how to do something.
20. Call when you are going to be late.
21. Take them out to dinner.
22. Write them a poem about how special they are.
23. Cut out a cartoon they’ll enjoy.
24. Ask them what they’d like sexually.
25. Go shopping together.
26. Take an afternoon drive.
27. Cuddle.
28. Put your arm around them in front of others.
29. Take them out on a surprise date.
30. Do something they want to do.
31. Listen.
32. Plan a candle light dinner.
33. Look at old photos together.
34. Serve them breakfast in bed.
35. Hold hands.
36. Share sexual fantasies.
37. Do a work project together.
38. Rub their back.
39. Take a shower together.
40. Carry their photo in your wallet.
41. Go away together for a weekend holiday.
42. Kiss them.
43. Smile more when you look at them.
44. Go for a bicycle ride together.
45. Surprise them with “special” attire.
46. Plan a picnic lunch.
47. Read something together about how to have a better relationship.
48. Repeat what they say before answering.
49. Say “Good morning” first.
50. Ask if they have a few minutes first before interrupting.
51. Send them a card.
52. Surprise them with a gift when it’s a non-holiday.
53. Cook them a favorite meal.
54. Try a new restaurant.
55. Ask them how they feel.
56. Let them know when you are proud of them.
57. Ask for their opinion.
58. Turn on some romantic music.
59. Dedicate a song to them.
60. Send them a balloon bouquet.
61. Watch a sunset together.
62. Play a game together.
63. Have them teach you something they know.
64. Tell them they have the night off.
65. Go to a movie they select.
66. Ask them for a hug.
67. Wear some new cologne.
68. Take them to Bali.
69. Discuss future plans with them.
70. Ask if you can help when they look sad.
71. Ask them about their dreams.
72. Meet them for lunch.
73. Enlarge a scenic photo of a place you’ve shared.
74. Give them a gift certificate for their favorite store.
75. Tell them what you like about them.
76. Buy them a new perfume.
77. Take them to a scenic spot.
78. Send them a gourmet gift basket.
79. Send them a joke card.
80. Let them know when you’ve thought of them during the day.
81. Buy them a toy.
82. Compliment them to their friends.
83. Bring them a thirst quenching drink.
84. Tell them when they look attractive.
85. Send them a post card.
86. Invite them to a secret rendezvous.
87. Give them a massage.
88. Take a lesson with them.
89. Look at photos together of when you met.
90. Plan a vacation with them.
91. Listen openly to their opposing opinion.
92. Buy them a new piece of jewelry.
93. Watch a TV show they like with them
94. Write them a letter.
95. Listen to music with them, such as an old favorite.
96. Whisper sweet nothings in their ear.
97. Tell them what you like that they do.
98. Give a head massage.
99. Invite them to a concert.
100. Let them know you care.

Let’s Talk About Sex

Who knew there was such a thing as “Christian Sex Toys” for married couples?  We have seen sex toys referred to as “Marital Aids,” but here are some sites that cater to Christians who want to keep the spark alive:

Wholly Love

Book 22

My Beloved’s Garden

Maybe these sites are in existence to attract those Christian couples who would never dream of going to a sex toy store or website.  It is ok people – it is really ok to enhance and enjoy your sex life.  Joyce Meyer once said, “I have come to the conclusion that there is nothing as tragic as being alive and not enjoying life.”  The same can be applied to our sex lives.

Here is an interesting site that discusses sexuality for married couples from the Christian perspective:

The Marriage Bed

Just so we are in the know, here are some interesting statistics about general sex toy use and sex courtesy of

  • 44% of women between the ages of 18 and 60 have used a sex toy
  • 20% of men report using a vibrator
  • 9  in 10 women report being comfortable talking to their partners about their sex toys
  • 1 in 5 women report masturbating at least once a week. Of those women, almost 60% use a sex toy in their solo play
  • Women who are in relationships are most likely to own and use sex toys. 78% of women who use or have used a sex toy reported being in a relationship
  • Women who use sex toys report experiencing more frequent orgasms and greater satisfaction with their partners than women who don’t use sex toys
  • Of women surveyed, 15-17% were under 20 years old when they first tried a vibrator, 50% were in their 20s, 22-27% were in their 30s, and 8-10% were forty and older
  • People worldwide are having sex for the first time at an average age of 17.3
  • Globally, people have had an average number of nine sexual partners
  • Almost a quarter (23%) of adults around the world have incorporated sex toys in partner sex
  • 20% of adults report indulging in kinky play, including using masks, blindfolds, or bondage
  • The most common place for adults to have sex outside their bedroom is in the car (50%), followed by the bathroom (39%), parents’ bedroom (36%), and the park (31%)
  • 15% of people have had sex at work, and 2% have joined the mile high club
  • Globally, people have sex an average of 103 times a year

We would love to know how many Christians were surveyed.

On yesterday’s Oprah, there was a sex survey on and more than 14,000 people responded. When asked, “Are you happy with your sex life?”, 57 percent of women said Yes (source).  If you fall into the 43% percent category, do something to change your “no” to a “yes.”

Love Is When……

Hey Pumps and Gloss-ers,

Before we jump into “Sex and Love Week,” please congratulate me on completing a Bachelor’s of Science-Business/ Marketing degree. The process was long and arduous, but I enjoyed every minute, even if I had frequent complaints. I want to thank my family and friends for their prayers, support and encouragement. I love you all!!

When I was a teenager the only “erotica” I could be seen reading was Songs of Solomon.

2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—
for your love is more delightful than wine.

3 Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes;
your name is like perfume poured out.
No wonder the maidens love you!

4 Take me away with you—let us hurry!
Let the king bring me into his chambers.

Songs of Solomon 1:2-4

I have always been interested in erotic literary works. In college, I was introduced to Noire Erotique/Black Erotica. This book is a must have!! This anthology includes prose, poetry and fiction on sex and love. One of my favorites from the book is the erotic horoscopes. (Sidebar: I am not a reader nor follower of horoscopes.) The prose describes how each sign likes to make love and what signs they are compatible with. A fun read!!

Noire Erotique/Black Erotica - Source: Amazon.comDark Eros - Source:

Another Book that I have is Dark Eros. This book is not as great as Black Erotica, but definitely worth the read. One of the poems in the book was written by a high school classmate. I am glad that he was able to parlay his amateur writings into published work.

These books showcase love, specifically, Black love in a more positive light. Many of the popular images (i.e. videos) turn our love into random acts of lust. Yes, we do care for and love each other.

Each book has helped to shape my view of sexuality. I learned that I do not have to settle for the virgin or slut roles. I can be lady and a freak all at the SAME time!! 😉

Let us know some of your favorite Erotica book titles. Looking forward to your comments.

Since I love books and learning, here is my favorite songs, Teach U A Lesson, by Robin Thicke.

For all the lovers in the world, Alicia Keys’ new single, No One, Mr. Carob and I can relate to this song… Good Job, Alicia!!

Hope you are enjoying “Sex and Love Week” as much as we are.

Keep It Sizzling and Sexy,

Sexual Carob

Glossy Monday – Sex and Love Week

Happy Monday Glossy Ones,

Welcome to Pumps and Gloss’ Sex and Love Week!  If you want to see something specific this week, feel free to let us know!


Since it is Sex and Love Week, I will share my favorite Sex song and favorite Love song.

Usher sets the mood with “Seduction.”  I would have posted “Alone” by Jodeci or “That’s What It’s Made For” by Usher, but I couldn’t find any video of these songs!

I will always be a fan of SWV!  I can listen to “Use Your Heart” every day.  And gotta love how Taj works her part out.

There are SO many other songs I could list – anything by Jesse Powell, Johnny Gill, Boyz II Men, Blackstreet, etc.  My current favorite song is “Valentine” by Lloyd – my husband is sick of hearing it! LOL!

POETRY– “Love” by Shihan

CHUCKLE – I received this as an e-mail forward; author is unknown.

How To Treat a Woman

  • Wine Her
  • Dine Her
  • Call Her
  • Hold Her
  • Surprise Her
  • Compliment Her
  • Smile at Her
  • Listen to Her
  • Laugh with Her
  • Cry with Her
  • Romance Her
  • Encourage Her
  • Believe in Her
  • Pray with Her
  • Pray for Her
  • Cuddle with Her
  • Shop with Her
  • Give Her Jewelry
  • Buy Her Flowers
  • Hold Her Hand
  • Write Her Love Letters
  • Go to the end of the earth and back for Her

How to Treat a Man

  • Show Up Naked
  • Bring Chicken Wings
  • Don’t Block the TV

LOVE QUIZZES has wonderful printable love quizzes for you and your mate to share.  These quizzes will cause you to open up and learn more about each other.  There are 16 different quizzes ranging from Sexual Favorites to Beliefs.  A great communication tool, the printable quizzes can be found here.


Clarence Carter’s “Strokin’” always did crack me up!  The lyrics are just too much.  And how I wish I could find “Candy Licker” by Marvin Sease – the title says it all!


Looking to set the mood right with a romantic meal?  Check out these sites for great meal ideas:

The Romantic

The Recipe Zaar

Advice Diva – She offers great tips on what qualities a romantic meal should have.

The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. ~ Galatians 5:6

Have a wonderful week and look out for more Sex and Love Week posts!

~ J.R.

Oral Sex vs. Intercourse

TGIF Everyone!!! Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes. 

Today, I am going to do something different.  Today, I am aiming my women readers.  Sorry men, you can provide input but I am looking mostly for my women to provide majority of the feedback on this topic.  I was talking with one of my friends and she mentioned a conversation she had with a male friend of hers.  The guy said that some women preferred to give oral sex rather than have intercourse.    

I thought this was strange to find a lot of women to prefer giving oral sex over having intercourse.  I tried to research to see if there was a study to see why some women prefer oral sex vs. intercourse.  Of course I couldn’t find anything so I had to ask my female friends.  Lets check out what some females had to say.

  • Some women feel as if they are still pure and virgins if they perform oral sex.  Once penetrated down there their no longer the so called virgin.  Now if they have a tongue ring and give oral their partners are enjoying them and would probably stay with them (freaks) and keep them around.  Men find the tongue ring as an indication of a freaky woman and now that men are hard to come by that is the best calling card.  Getting back to women preferring to give, I would think that it should not be one sided unless he’s giving it to her.  However, just to give it may mean to satisfy him quickly without you having to remove your clothes and all.  It’s purely a one-sided pleasure and women lose out just to please her man.
  • Some women believe they have skills that are beyond measure and get off on the sight of seeing their man give off similar gestures and sounds from his enjoyment.  It’s no different from men, it strokes women’s egos.
  • Women get pleasure from giving oral sex rather than sex itself, because they are turned on by the reaction of the man while they are giving oral sex. The reaction is probably drastically different or they don’t get much of a reaction when they have sexual intercourse which is probably damaging to her self esteem. Some woman are turned on by the moans, noises and facial expressions but if its not happening during intercourse but it is during oral sex they just stick to that and the more they do oral sex the better they will get!
  • It is my belief that women who prefer to give oral rather than vaginal sex don’t really like sex that much. Oral gives them a quick way to ‘please’ their man. The problem is after being with a woman like that, a man expects head every day and would rather get head than have sex. Oral sex becomes all about the man’s pleasure.  Oral sex is good but what about my needs?
  • After oral sex there must be some intercourse. Oral sex is foreplay, and should be treated as such.
  • Oral sex is great, but it’s just a “Prelude to Real Sex”. 
  • Most women prefer to have oral sex over intercourse because of reasons such as a yeast infection or some other womanly situation or she wants to please the guy rather than  receive feel the pentatraion.

As you know many women have their view on why women prefer oral sex over intercourse.  No one can actually give a reason for any other person.  So, lets take a look at this video as these guys and a female discuss oral sex vs intercourse.

As you see, I have various views on this hot topic.  Ladies, the women of pumps and gloss would like to know how you feel on performing oral sex vs. having intercourse.  I think a lot of men really want to know the answer. 

Sensual Element

Feeling Bubbly

Hey Pumps and Gloss-ers,

Thank you for your warm birthday wishes!! I appreciate it!!!!

As fall is drawing nigh (my fave time of the year), I have been thinking about the music I discovered over the summer. I do not listen to music stations, except for Spirit (on XM) on Saturday mornings riding to church, so I depend on the Internet to find me new music.

Colbie Caillat, a 22 year old from Malibu, sings sweetly about falling in love, breaking up, the birth of a niece as well as growing up. Music is in her DNA as her dad, Ken, is a record producer, who has worked with such acts as Fleetwood Mac. (Her song, Bubbly, was the free song of the week on iTunes.)

Her voice made me of a White version India.Arie (sans inspiration). Her first single, Bubbly, from the CoCo album, reminded me of the innocence of love, even though this same love can be hot and sexy. Bubbly is an easy breezy tune that explores the quiet times shared with one’s lover.

I enjoy this album from track 1 to the bonus track Older (iTunes version). The sound is definitely a folky pop with slight ska rhythms. Now, I find it does not work well as a road trip album because the record is very relaxing. Definitely not like Norah Jones’ music, which I refer to as “sleepy time music.” Norah should be listened to, only, at home.

Sara Bareilles, another artist who had a free single of the week on iTunes, is one of my new favorites. Her sound is definitely poppy soul with jazz influences. I am kinda bummed because I could have her seen her open for Maroon 5, but I decided that I did not want to go. It is rare to have an opening and main performer that you want to see performing at the same time. (Sidebar: I showed up for an opening act, Jill Scott. Definitely worth the price.)

All the tracks on, Little Voice, are very solid and substantive. The song, Love Song, really pulls you in. Made me think, “Girrrrl, don’t write him anything!!” I like all the songs, but my fave right now is “Morningside.”

She belts:

I try to forget what you do to me but then you do it over again
I could rage like a fire and you’d bring rain
Til you get to me on my morningside






This is definitely a road trip CD. Keeps you pumped up and awake.

You can tell that she has been honing her craft for a long time. I love her voice because she is one of those singers that can sing anything: from gospel to rock. She knows how to command a room with her voice. I want to see her doing Broadway, maybe even a jazz cover album. The possibilities for Sara are endless.

I think she will be around for awhile, but I need to see her promoted better i.e. The Tonight Show with Jay Leno or Late Night with Conan O’Brien.


Love Song

Remember there is quality music of every genre, so no more complaining. 😉 If you have found any up-and-coming artists that I should check out, please send me an e-mail to

Enjoy the Hump Day,

Mix Maven

Glossy Monday Variety ~ 09/17/2007

Happy Monday Glossy Ones,

I hope your weekend was better than mine – I have been sick since Wednesday!  DO NOT take your good health for granted!


Kelly Rowland is back with “Ghetto” featuring Snoop Dogg.

For those of us who are sick,


(see WebMD for full details)

  1. Know when not to Treat Symptoms
  2. Blow your Nose often and the Right Way
  3. Treat that Stuffy Nose with Warm Salt Water
  4. Stay Warm and Rested
  5. Gargle
  6. Drink Hot Liquids
  7. Take a Steamy Shower
  8. Use a Salve Under Your Nose
  9. Apply Hot or Cold Packs around Your Congested Sinuses
  10. Sleep with an Extra Pillow under Your Head
  11. Do not Fly unless it is Necessary
  12. Eat Infection-Fighting Foods


I am really digging brown for the fall.  These boots by Aerosoles have to be comfortable since they make the most comfortable shoes ever.  The “Lane Squeeze” boot also comes in black leather.


My favorite face cleansing product, without a doubt, is Johnson and Johnson’s Clean and Clear.  I’m not trying to sound like a Proactiv commercial, but I have combination skin (oily/dry) and Clean and Clear keeps me just that – clean and clear!

These are the products in my bathroom drawer – I switch up daily and my skin has no complaints.

Go the Clean and Clear site to get a $2.00 off coupon.


I found this cute parody of the top Democratic candiates for President.  When the time comes, whether you are Republican or Democrat, VOTE!


“Our Daily Bread” from RBC Ministries is one of my favorites.  The monthly pocket size devotional arrives once a month and the cost is only what you are led to give.  You can also view their daily devotionals on their website.  This is a great resource for those who need a quick Word for the day.

I recieve “Heartlight” devotionals through e-mail daily.  You will receive a Scripture Verse, Thought and Prayer.  They also offer many more devotionals to choose from – check out the complete list here.


Last week, I posted two prints by artist Annie Lee.  In the comments section, Miss Loden said I should check out “Power Shopping.”  I did and I love it!

Power Shopping

Looks like Mix Maven and Sensual Element on any given day. 🙂  Thanks Miss Loden –  and if you like “Power Shopping,” you will love “Maxed Out.”

It’s September 17th and two of my dear friends are celebrating their birthdays today!

Happy Birthday Mix Maven!  Happy Birthday Sensual Element!

Happy Birthday Sensual Element!  Happy Birthday Mix Maven!

I love yall! 🙂  Any Virgos in the house? LOL!

Here are some Simpson clips to get you two in the Birthday spirit… 

Go Sen, it’s your birthday!  Go Mix, it’s your birthday!  If yall want to dance to Luke, go here!  LOL!

Have a Great Week Everyone!

~ J.R.