Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down

When I saw Mix’s post title on Tuesday, I thought she was going to go there.  Since she didn’t, I will…

Bondage can be a very fun thing.  We’re not hardcore BDSM around here; we just indulge in a little “light” bondage if you will.  The most important aspect of bondage play is TRUST.  If you do not trust that your mate will do right  by you, find another game to play.


A great start to light bondage is this Pleasure Tape.  It’s non-stick, but very effective.  If things get too heated and your need to break free, this Pleasure Tape is for you.


I love handcuffs, but I especially like furry ones.  They are easy on the wrists and add the softness adds to the seduction.  Ankle restriants come fur lined too! 


If you want to be in contol like Janet with a little “rope burn,” you will love these “Silk Surrender” restraints.  Adjustable for wrists and ankles, these cuffs prove that variety is indeed the spice of life.

If you want to make your own restraints, go to a fabric store like Joann’s, and have some silk cut long enough to wrap around your headboard posts.  No posts?  You need a bed restraint system!  You can also use some of the ties that Mix mentioned. 🙂

Ladies, don’t let your man tell you that he can’t be cuffed.  Check out this great book, “How To Be A Dominant Diva.”  Your man will love it!  Full of games and advice, this is the book to have if you want to spice things up and increase your sexual confidence.


Also, check out the Dominant Diva website.  It is full of great tips and information.

Remember:  Pain is not sexy, unless you like it like that.

~ Hot Suff

Trapped in the….

If you haven’t heard, R. Kelly is back with “Trapped in the Closet” Chapters 13 – 22. You can check out ALL the chapters at IFC.com/Trapped – can’t believe there are more chapters to come!

Chapter 12.5 is a summary of Chapters 1 – 12. The way R. keeps saying/singing “Oh s***” is just comical!

Check out “Weird Al” Yankovic’s version, “Trapped in the Drive-Thru.”

MADtv did a hilarious spoof too – “Trapped in the Cupboard.”

Tie Me Up

I love ties and I love when men wear ties that please my eyes.

When I was a youngster, I used to wish I could wear a uniform to public school. Papa Maven gave me one of his school ties from high school, a lovely purple and silver(white) one. O how I loved that tie!

When I was working at the “Fun Shack” (not actual name of company), there was an architect who wore a knit tie with a plaid shirt. He seemed to wear the tie shirt combo for special business meetings. I always thought that, maybe, he did not have that special lady in his life to help him select some great ties.

Knit Ties. Source: Narrowties.com

These ties should NOT be around anyone’s neck, but these ties would make lovely ladies’ belts or headbands. Never, ever do I want to go on the street and see this fashion travesty. (OK, now I am going to see the ‘hugly” ties everywhere!)

So Mr. Architect should have chosen a tie like this khaki olive tone tie to wear with a blue shirt or a white shirt.

Brooks Brothers Tie - Source: BrooksBrothers.com

I heart the Greens, which is why I am like this tie. This classic option looks great on all men.

Navy Blue/Green Silk Tie. Source: PaulFrederick.com

Nordstrom Silk Tie - Source:Nordstrom.com

A pattern tie with a superb suit/tie/shoe combo can be irresistible. This tie must be matched and coordinated carefully. For example, Mr. Architect could have worn this olive green, soft blue, gold tie (hmm reminds me of MAC’s Quarry Mineralize eye shadow, without the bronze) avec a neutral color shirt.

Ladies, I implore you to NOT let your men pick their own ties. (For the good of the land!) Men can and will run a muck, and get something tres unattractive. Ladies, if I see your men wearing flags, animated characters, other unapproved themes and knit ties, I am going to have to call the Fashion Police… And it will not be pretty at all!! 😉

Keep It Right,

Mix Maven

Glossy Monday Variety

Happy Monday Glossy Ones!



While this song did not get much radio play in my area, I always loved it.  Beyonce’s “A Woman Like Me” is from the “Pink Panther” soundtrack.  Can any of you relate to the message?



  1. Boost Your Energy
  2. Reach out to Friends
  3. Rid Yourself of a Nagging Task
  4. Create a Calmer Environment
  5. Lay the Groundwork for some Future Fun
  6. Do a Good Deed
  7. Act Happy

~ By Gretchen Rubin – See each step with full details at The Happiness Project.



Maybelline “shiny*licious” in Grape-Full


Ounces/Price/Location = 0.38 ounces for $3.48 at Target (Clearance Price; Regular Price is $4.99 at Target);  Image is from Walgreens.com, where the regular price is $5.79, current sale price is $4.99.

Applicator = Fuzzy Angled “Doe Foot” applicator with hole in the middle – gloss is squeezed through this opening.

Sticky? = Yes (Hubby agrees)

Shimmer? = Yes

Coverage = Very Sheer – Grape-Full provides very little color (Hubby agrees! LOL!)

Purchase A Second Tube? = No

Try Different Colors? = Maybe

Thoughts = shiny*licious is just that – SHINE Lots and lots of shine!  But Grape-Full does not provide any color.  I would recommend this gloss to wear over a lipstick to boost the shine.  I used it over my M.A.C. “Lure” lipstick and it pops!



I was so disheartened to hear about Juanita Bynum being abused by her husband, Bishop Thomas Weeks, III.  On Friday, he turned himself in to police.  There is no excuse for this type of behavior!

Pictures have also surfaced of Amy Winehouse appearing to be abused.  Reports say she was fighting with her husband, but Amy has publicly denied that her husband abused her.  The pictures of them are hard to view!

Ladies, and Men too – there is no plausible reason for abuse of any kind to be tolerated.  If you find yourself in any of the above situations, PLEASE get help.  It is never too late!



I love when our urban designers work it out for us curvy ones.  🙂  Rocawear has some really sharp outfits that go up to 3X/24 in size.  I can see myself in each and every outfit! LOL!





I am an avid reader!  I love a good book, but even more so, I love a good sale on books. 

While in Dollar Tree – you can find some real gems in their book section every now and then – I see Lies and the Lying Liars who tell Themby Al Franken.  Looked like an interesting read, why not, it’s just $1.00.  My, my, my – I implore all of you to get this book.  Eye opening and hilarious, the end result is pure gold.  If I was a conservative, I would not like Al very much! LOL!


Mix Maven and I went to Border’s last week and I picked up Yeah, I Said Itby Wanda Skyes for a whopping $1.00.  Wanda started off her book talking about politics – I thought I had picked up Al Franken by mistake!  I could hear Wanda talking as I read, which made it all the more funnier.  I laughed out loud through most of the book, but there are times when Wanda goes over the top.  In those instances, remember the title of the book!


I also picked up a book that grabbed me and wouldn’t let go.  Bullsh*t or Fertilizerby Pierre Bennu was on sale for $1.99 and I am all for a “Portable Pep Talk” (that’s the subtitle).  It is a small book – 83 pages – but it is a great read!  Very encouraging, but not all preachy, this book should be on everyone’s shelf…or in their bag or desk for a quick pick-me-up!




Don’t assume that people know how to love and choose to be evil instead.

Some of us haven’t seen the alternative.

Be that alternative.

~  From “Bullsh*it or Fertilizer” by Pierre Bennu, 2003


If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all.

~ Isaiah 7:9 NIV

Have a Wonderful Week!

~ J.R.

Feel The Vibrations

Hey yall, I am Sexual Carob (long story) and I will be filling in for Sensual Element while she is away at a stiletto and whip convention. Of course, the convention is in an undisclosed location.

I subscribe to the DailyCandy weekly e-mails. Daily Candy is a lifestyle website that sends readers information regarding travel destinations, new products gadgets, sales, etc. Most of the time, I read the article and delete, but Wednesday’s edition was different.

OhMiBod / iPod -Source - http://www.itechnews.net/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/ohmibod-ipod.jpg

The product featured was the OhMiBod, a massager / vibrator to be used with an Apple iPod. (I see why Joyful Radiance and Sensual Element have the iPod on their wish lists.) The rod pulsates according to the rhythm of each song. The unit measures 5 1/2″ long (insertable) and 1 1/8″ in diameter. The DC suggests ” a slow rise from Sade to Shaggy” or whatever kind of music you like. OhMiBod retails for $69. (hmmm interesting price). The reviews have been glowing, but I think further research needs to done on this product. 😉

The same company offers a mobile phone version call the Boditalk. The Boditalk functions the same as the OhMiBod. The vibrations occur when calls are made to or from your phone. The cell signal triggers a unique 3 pattern vibrating sequence that lasts for the entire call. Boditalk gives a new meaning to the term “phone sex” Fortunately, if you do not want to use up your minutes, the Boditalk sex wand can be used alone. This product also retails for $69.

Boditalk - Source -http://www.ohmibod.com/boditalk.html

FYI, if you try to order the OhMiBod from the manufacturer’s website, the item is on backorder (ok well, I am curious about it!!) But there is a coupon code for $10 off. See the OhMiBod site for details.

Check out the promotion for OhMiBod.

Have a Delicious Weekend,

Sexual Carob

Mix Maven’s Tidbits

Hey Pumps and Gloss friends,

I have been worried about Amy Winehouse. I have been reading that she has canceled all her tour dates to go to rehab. (If that is true… a definite YAY!!!! ) I hope she gets better.

Lincoln Heights - Erica Hubbard and Robert Adamson

Lincoln Heights is one of my favorite shows on the TV. About late December 2006 / early January 2007 iTunes offered the pilot episode as a free download. I said “what the hay” and downloaded this video. Before the episode ended, I set-up my DVR to record the entire season.

Lincoln Heights - Nikki Micheaux and Russell Hornsby

The premise of the show is an African-American police officer (played by Russell Hornsby), his wife (played by Nicki Micheaux), a nurse, and their 3 children, 2 girls and 1 boy (Erica Hubbard,  Rhyon Nicole Brown, and Mishon Ratliff) move from a tiny apartment in the suburbs to live in a former crack den, a dilapidated Queen Anne home in an urban area. They are able to purchase and renovate the house because of a special program that allows police officers to live in the neighborhoods they patrol. I just love the premise of the show because it is about normal African-Americans doing regular stuff, even as they face challenges i.e. challenging stereotypes, dealing with childhood acquaintances. This show is one of the few, if not, only African-American dramas on television.

I enjoy the show, especially how the children must navigate from living in the suburbs, mostly White to living in an area that is mostly Black and Brown. The husband and wife get to interact a lot because of their jobs, which helps the show to flow well. This family has such strength and dignity without coming off as pious.

Check out video below..

Clips from Lincoln Heights

If by chance, you missed the entire first season, you can view the episodes online. (Arrow up to Pilot and enjoy the viewing.) UPDATE: ABC Family channel will air a marathon of Lincoln Heights‘ first season starting 11 AM – 7 PM on September 4, 2007. I, kindly, suggest that you set your DVR to record all the episodes.

The new season begins September 4, 2007 @ 8PM EDT on ABC Family.

Have a Blessed Tuesday,

Mix Maven

Glossy Monday Variety

Happy Monday Glossy Ones!



Jill Scott is back with “Hate On Me.” This song not only has a great empowering message, it rocks!



Check out Jill’s shoes at the 3:30 mark in the video.

Jill’s Shoes from “Hate On Me” Video

They remind me of this Nine West shoe that I have been eyeing:


The Disopra is one of my faves. A must have!



– From Women’s Lifestyle Magazine, July 2007

  • Change the color of your bathroom walls to something soothing like a gentle blue, a pastel green or even a pale lilac. If you are in an apartment, hang some of your favorite pictures on the walls.
  • Keep large, thick, 100% cotton bath towels close at hand. They will maintain their softness if you only use them for certain occasions (like your personal spa days).
  • Get aromatherapy candles to match your bathroom color scheme. Not only will the soft glow make you feel relaxed, the scent will be calming as well.
  • Purchase or make your own bath oil. To soothe achy muscles, combine Epsom salt with a few drops of essential oil and add to your bath water.
  • Move a portable CD player into the bathroom and gather up some relaxation music.
  • Make sure you have plenty of soft washcloths, scented soaps/shower gels/scrubs and face masks on hand.
  • Keep a special, ultra plush or comfortable robe handy that you use just for your personal spa days.
  • Include a tropical plant or two in your bathroom for natural lushness.


TEN SIGNS OF BURNOUT by Dr. Steve Stephens, Psychologist and Speaker

  1. Lack of Energy
  2. Loss of Enjoyment
  3. Apathy
  4. Avoiding People
  5. Hard to get Motivated
  6. Lowered Productivity
  7. Trouble with Sleeping
  8. Change in Appetite
  9. Poor Concentration
  10. Difficulty Making Decisons

~ From Lists to Live by – The Fourth Collection, 2002



For some reason, we get catalogs in my mother-in-law’s name in the mail all the time. Last week, a Lew Magram catalog arrived and wow, the dresses are hot and the sizes range from Misses 6-16 and Women’s 16W – 26W. Check out these two that caught my eye. If I only had some where to wear one of these!





Wow! “Let him come on, let him loose!” I’m not mad at the Pastor! I came across this clip on MediaTakeout.com – most of the stories are crummy, but there are some gems in the mix. Being in a unique position at my church, I see a lot of background things that the average church person does not see. It is a trip how this lady, who probably considers herself to be a devout Christian, acted nothing like a Christian (See the 0:49 second mark). I once attended a church where a member called the Pastor (a lady) a b****. Lord have mercy!



I know it’s hot in the South, but wow, it has been raining here since Saturday. Here are some of my favorite rain related songs….

I Can’t Stand The Rain by Tina Turner – I loved this song as a child!

SWV’s Rain is a classic – you just can’t lose with any SWV song.

I loved Jade! I hate they disappeared. While Mr. Do Right has a little rain in the beginning and the chorus starts off with “Can someone stop this rain from falling on my face,” this is a song you play when it’s a stormy night with your lover!

Johnny Gills knows he SANG this song! Whew! Can You Stand The Rain by New Edition has got to be one of their greatest hits.


POETRY – from Thank You Lord by Maya Angelou (Part 2 of 2)

Some thought because they’d seen the sunrise

They’d see it rise again.

But death crept into their sleeping beds

And You took them by the hand.

Because of Your mercy, I have another day to live.

Let me humbly say

Thank You for this day

I want to thank You.

I was once a sinner (wo)man,

Living unsaved and wild,

Taking my chances in a dangerous world,

Putting my soul on trial.

Because of Your mercy,

Falling down like rain,

Because of Your mercy,

When I die, I’ll live again.

Let me humbly say

Thank You for this day.

I want to thank You.


Encourage one another daily

~ Hebrews 3:13 NIV

Be Encouraged This Week!

~ J.R.

Sensual Element’s Birthday Wish List

As you already know, Mix Maven and I share the same birthday in September.  To keep with the birthday season wishes…here are some of my picks:

Like Joyful Radiance, I also love Coach.  I saw some totes, wristlets and purses I would love to have.  Decisions, decisions, which one to get?





I love their swingpacks.  It makes it so much easier for nights out on the town and vacations.  All you need are the essentials.

I love to read books,  so a gift card from Borders or Barnes and Noble works just as well.

bn-giftcard.gif birthday_20061.jpg

I am feeling J.R. AKA Hot Stuff on joining the iPod revolution.  I am even feeling the iPhone. 


You undeniably need to have music with an iPod!

If I cannot get that, I will upgrade my XM plug and play.


I know it’s Friday, so I have to throw in a little sexiness.  I must have a sexy lingerie piece to wear to celebrate my big day!


Sensual Element

Joyful Radiance’s Birthday Wish List

It is Birthday season here at Pumps and Gloss.  Sensual Element and Mix Maven share the same birthday in September and my birthday is next week.  Here are some of my gift picks:

I am a huge Coach fan and I saw these shoes in person recently.  Decisions, decisions, which color to get?


The “Issy” wedge is too darling!

This Lionkeyfob is too cute for us Leos…


We need one of a lioness though! 🙂

I love, love, love the Amazing Grace line from Philosophy.  The scent is clean and so feminine.


Doesn’t this Candy Paint Lip Gloss by Carol’s Daughter look delicious?


These lounge shorts from Old Navy are too cute.


I am starting to feel the desire to join the iPod revolution.  I would want the Red edition – stylish and helping those in Africa – it’s win/win.


The hedonist in me wants Gucci footwear to go with my purse!


I’m not too hard to please. 🙂

~ J.R.

Mix Maven’s Birthday Wish List

Good day Pumps and Gloss readers:

My birthday is fast approaching. (I will be 24!!) (Did I just hear someone say “Again!”) 😉

Well, I do not usually have a list …but this year is different.

First on my list is Mac OS X (Leopard).

MAC OS X Leopard - Source: Apple.com

I was miffed when I read that iPhone delayed Leopard’s entry into the market. I was very much looking forward to the application coming out in August, but the new release date is in late October. (well after my b-day, but I am always accepting gifts ) 😉 There will be many new cool features.. Can’t wait!!

In my recent order from Sephora.com, I received a sample of Narcisco Rodriguez’s For Her. This perfume has a woodsy talcum scent, which I, surprisingly, enjoy. (I love fruity scents like Tribu and Origins’ Frolic.)

Narcisco Rodriguez For Her - Source: Sephora.com

The Kenneth Cole Reaction “My Boo” Flat is a great everyday shoe. I love the shiny and shimmery. This shoe would jazz up most casual outfits.

The Kenneth Cole Reaction “My Boo” Flat  Source: Nordstrom.com

I also like Steve Madden’s Plus. This shoe was very comfortable on my feet. Also a great travel/grocery shopping shoe.

Steve Madden Plus Flat - Source: stevemadden.com

I have and will always be a fan of the swing coat. Michael Kors and Luii have offerings that are just delish. I love the classic print of houndstooth. You cannot go wrong with this gift (to me). While I am not a huge fan of red or matching, the Luii swing jacket would go great with my Richh (from Steve Madden) pump.

Michael Kors Houndstooth Swing Jacket - Source: NordstromLuii Twill Swing Jacket - Source: Nordstrom.comSteve Madden Richh Pump - Source: SteveMadden.com

I have always appreciated the writings of Robin Williams. I have one of her books, The Non-Designer’s Design Book, which has been very beneficial. I have had the Design Workshop on my wish list.

The Design Workshop by Robin Williams - Source Amazon.com

Maybe this will be the year that I receive as a gift.

And you know a gift card does not hurt (MAC Cosmetics, Nordstrom, Bath and Body Works, for a store [online or brick and mortar] that sells Ben Nye, HomeGoods.)

I hope that everyone has a great week.

Live Triumphantly,

Mix Maven


A very loud shout out to my daughter, Renita. Thanks for the wonderful gift (2 shiny black cards). You know mummy loves you.